Just one day after Angel Cabrera captured the Masters, rumors are circulating that the Gaming Association of Sports is considering revoking golf’s right to call itself a sport.
“After seeing a considerably overweight individual such as Cabrera win the most prestigious championship in the game,” said Mack Dixon, G.A.S. President, “it’s clear that we need to re-assess whether or not golf is a sport. You obviously don’t need to be an athlete to win this thing.”
According to reports, G.A.S. is tinkering with the idea of slapping golf with the “game” label, rather than “sport.” This will put it in the same category as Darts, Pool and everybody’s favorite lawn game, Jarts.
“Yes, we are considering this change,” admits Dixon. “After all, what makes it any different than pool? In both games, you’re trying to get the ball in the hole. Golf just takes a little while longer.”
Update: The Max has learned that G.A.S. is also toying with the idea of revoking the sport privilege to the following “sports.” Do you think they should be considered sports?
On the flip side, we are also hearing the following events may soon earn the “sports” label:
- Beirut (aka Beer Pong)
- Wiffle Ball
- Marco Polo
- Flashlight Tag
- Rock, Paper, Scissors
Note: We originally ran this in January. But after today’s HR by Nick Swisher, it appears as though John Sterling still does not have a call prepared for the new Yankees outfielder. So let’s keep voting below. We’ll give the results to our guy at YES to give to Sterling.
Don’t look now, but Spring Training is less than a month away. And with the additions of pitchers CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett, as well as big bats Mark Teixeira and Nick Swisher (yeah, we added Swish to the list), this season is promising to be one of the most exciting in recent New York baseball memory. But while most fans are getting geared up to see the new Yanks don the prestigious pinstripes, we’re actually more excited to hear from Yankees famed radio announcer John Sterling this season.
Year after year, our favorite part of a new baseball season is hearing Sterling’s homerun calls for the newest Bombers. Sans Johnny Damon’s “demonic” call, we always get a hoot out of his creativity. As we approach the 2009 campaign, The Max takes a look at what Sterling’s calls for the new Yankees bats might be. Let us know which ones you like and we’ll pass it along to the YES guys (to hopefully pass it along to Sterling):
- It’s just not fair-a, Mark Teixeira!
- It’s Tex Time for the Bombers
- Texual healing, oh baby! (a play off Marvin Gaye’s song, Sexual Healing)
- Mark sends a Tex message
- Tex is on the Mark
- Mark it down!
- How dare ya, Mark Teixeira
- Teixeira tattoos one
- Tex connects!
- Swish goes boom!
- Nick the Stick goes deep
- Swish gets sweet
- Nick is quick to the punch
Or maybe you don’t like any of these options. That’s ok. Just leave your recommendations below.
Here’s the newest set of questions that have been occupying our every
thought. Let us know if you’re thinking what we’re thinking.
- Did you really expect the Yankees to go 162-0? Let’s just settle for 160-2 and move on.
- Why is it big news that Terrell Owens reported to late to Bills voluntary workouts? It would be bigger news if he reported on time, don’t you think?
- Do you find Kimberly Jones and Bob Lorenz‘s blogs as refreshing as we do? More baseball personalities should do this.
- France’s anti-doping agency claims Lance Armstrong broke its rules. Do you care? We sure as heck don’t. Go away, Lance.
- Shouldn’t we all take it easy on Joba Chamberlain (regarding his comments, not the whole DUI thing)? We’ve all said stupid things in the past. Heck, The Max posts stupid things on this blog all the time. It doesn’t mean we don’t love Yogi.
- After one inning in Texas today, Carl Pavano gave up five earned runs. Maybe we should be happy that he rarely pitched for the Yankees, right? No, we’re not bitter.
- As we write this, Mark Teixeira just went yard. OK Baltimore, you now have a reason to boo him. (So that wasn’t in the form of a question. What is this, jeopardy?)
Congratulations to The ‘Burgh Blues for bringing a championship to Pittsburgh. They defeated Eat, Sleep, Baseball in a close one — 53% for Blues, 47% for Eat, Sleep.
After someone at our office nearly wasted their cash on the movie “12 Rounds” (until he found out it wasn’t about boxing and it starred WWE’s chunk of muscle, John Cena), we’d like to give everyone a recession-friendly (whatever that means) alternative to blowing a bunch of hard-earned loot on a sure-to-be-awful film, “Fighting.” If you haven’t seen the trailer, you can find it below.
Our request: If you must see a bad movie about people getting into fights, check out Jean-Claude Van Damme’s 1988 masterpiece, “Bloodsport” instead. By far, it’s one of the best films of JCVD’s lousy acting library (although “Timecop” is a close second on the list) and will surely be better than “Fighting.” That’s a Max guarantee. Would we lie?
Early guess: No Van Damme = no reason to bother seeing “Fighting.”