In its continued attempt to make the All-Star game as ridiculous as possible, the NBA has added H-O-R-S-E to the annual festivities. No really, they did.
What’s worse is that the decision came after months of careful evaluation. According to reports, H-O-R-S-E was selected by a special committee that apparently researched hundreds of other options. From what we are hearing, here are some of the other games that almost made the cut and the reasoning why they failed to be included:
- Marco Polo: Bringing an Olympic-sized pool into the arena was not a problem. The committee feared the sight of Brian Scalabrine in a Speedo more (Yes, that may be the first time ever that Scalabrine and the term All-Star were used in the same story).
- Spin the Bottle: This one actually made it to the final two. The thought of Kobe and Shaq finally kissing and making up was a real draw for the committee. In the end, though, officials feared the continued lovefest for LeBron would be too overwhelming.
- Tic Tac Toe: Coaches apparently protested that their players were confused enough by the X’s and O’s of basketball. According to them, throwing this at the players would turn their minds to mush.
- Tiddlywinks: When the idea of this game was brought to a players’ focus group, the term “tiddlywinks” was always followed up by giggles and immature college humor… we’ll just leave it at that.
- Hungry, Hungry Hippos: The threat of Shaq confusing this contest for an all-you-can-eat buffet eventually swayed the decision makers away.
- Shuttlecocks: See Tiddlywinks.
- Rock, Paper, Scissors: Apparently, the sales for real scissors skyrocketed when the idea of this game being added to the All-Star game leaked. The players just couldn’t grasp the idea of playing without real rocks or scissors. Ron Artest is still combing his backyard for baseball-sized rocks.
- Dodgeball: Without Vince Vaughn, the game is just not that fun!