Keep HORSE-ing around

5 Feb

horse.jpgIn its continued attempt to make the All-Star game as ridiculous as possible, the NBA has added H-O-R-S-E to the annual festivities. No really, they did.

What’s worse is that the decision came after months of careful evaluation. According to reports, H-O-R-S-E was selected by a special committee that apparently researched hundreds of other options. From what we are hearing, here are some of the other games that almost made the cut and the reasoning why they failed to be included:

  • Marco Polo: Bringing an Olympic-sized pool into the arena was not a problem. The committee feared the sight of Brian Scalabrine in a Speedo more (Yes, that may be the first time ever that Scalabrine and the term All-Star were used in the same story).
  • Spin the Bottle: This one actually made it to the final two. The thought of Kobe and Shaq finally kissing and making up was a real draw for the committee. In the end, though, officials feared the continued lovefest for LeBron would be too overwhelming.
  • Tic Tac Toe: Coaches apparently protested that their players were confused enough by the X’s and O’s of basketball. According to them, throwing this at the players would turn their minds to mush.
  • Tiddlywinks: When the idea of this game was brought to a players’ focus group, the term “tiddlywinks” was always followed up by giggles and immature college humor… we’ll just leave it at that.
  • Hungry, Hungry Hippos: The threat of Shaq confusing this contest for an all-you-can-eat buffet eventually swayed the decision makers away.
  • Shuttlecocks: See Tiddlywinks.
  • Rock, Paper, Scissors: Apparently, the sales for real scissors skyrocketed when the idea of this game being added to the All-Star game leaked. The players just couldn’t grasp the idea of playing without real rocks or scissors. Ron Artest is still combing his backyard for baseball-sized rocks.
  • Dodgeball: Without Vince Vaughn, the game is just not that fun!

3 Responses to “Keep HORSE-ing around”

  1. juliasrants February 5, 2009 at 3:55 pm #

    Oh come on – I love the idea of them playing horse! Remember all those great Larry Bird – Michael Jordan ads?? I say – Bring it on!


  2. hardballblog February 5, 2009 at 6:15 pm #

    The NBA should just step up and pay the big time players to be in the dunk contest. No one plays defense in the All-Star game anymore and a bunch of nobodies get in the dunk contest. Everyone wants to see LeBron, Kobe and Vince Carter in the dunk contest. The NBA needs to give the people what they want.

  3. raysrenegade February 6, 2009 at 3:15 pm #

    I could go for seeing a great game of Celtics versus Lakers dodgeball. But Kobe might get pissed and take the ball and go home in the middle of the action if they beaned him in the noggin.

    Rays Renegade

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