Cheney unveils new theory in Burress case

30 Nov

Dick Cheney can relate to Plaxico Burress’ recent gun troubles. In Feb. 2006, the U.S. Vice President accidentally mistook his hunting partner for a pheasant. Which means, apparently, the Veep’s hunting partner stood a few inches tall, had feathers, a tail and a multicolored face. Because that’s the only way that could actually happen, right? 

Citing the media was making the “same mistake twice” by releasing statements “without all the facts being sourced and checked,” Cheney put forth a bold theory as to what really happened at the Latin Quarter nightclub in Manhattan early last Saturday morning between Plaxico Burress, his right thigh and a loaded weapon:
Cheney also recommended charging the gun for disobedience, the bullet for firing and circumstance for allowing such an event to take place.

2 Responses to “Cheney unveils new theory in Burress case”

  1. juliasrants December 1, 2008 at 8:49 am #

    Maybe Cheney & Burress need to take gun safety lessons from Sarah Palin. I don’t think we’ve heard of her shooting anyone by accident or herself.


  2. Jane Heller December 1, 2008 at 12:51 pm #

    I should have made the connection between Cheney and Burress and their tendency to accidentally shoot themselves or others. Do you think they’re distant cousins? Or maybe not-so-distant?

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