Tag Archives: Santonio Holmes

Whos your Holmes?

2 Feb

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Santonio Holmes

Who would have thought? You play a huge role in helping the Steelers win a Super Bowl and the next thing you know people forget about the marijuana charges from earlier in the season. (Mike Phelps better take notes, hop back into the pool and win 25 more medals.)
But with a sick catch in the end zone late in the game against the Cardinals, we’d be foolish to say Santonio’s not our Holmes. 
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Sherlock Holmes

I doubt he could do anything like get open in an NFL secondary, or bust out a tight post pattern, but he could deconstruct a defense and probably solve 30 other crimes in the process. 
Despite being incredibly outdated with his goofy pipe and magnifying glass, Sherlock’s still money in a third-rate version of James Bond kind of way. He’s not as tough and not as handsome. But he’s still someone we’d name drop to get free tickets to a game.
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Katie Holmes

The huge strike we have against Kate is that she’s married to a loony. The other big one is that she talks out of the side of her mouth. Ever notice that? 
She looks thin and harmless, but there’s something about her that looks rough. It’s sort of like getting a meal from Chilis — it looks good when it arrives at your table, but you know that niceness will turn ugly about an hour after it gets eaten. 
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Larry Holmes
He’s a former heavyweight champion and if something went down with some roughnecks, we know our boy Larry would toss some haymakers and clear the trouble out for us. That’s big.
However, he’d also be the toughest in the group, so whatever he wants he gets. If we want to watch Lost and he wants to watch the new 90210 remake, we’d be stuck in Beverly Hills for an hour. 

News items you may have missed

16 Dec

The Max knows that you’ve been busy getting ready for the holidays. So we’ve gathered these news items from around the sports world into one place for your convenience. You’re welcome.

Pittsburgh Steelers wider receiver Santonio Holmes reveals crush on teammate Casey Hampton.
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The Wizards played a game.
(Normally, this wouldn’t be news, but judging from the empty seats, we figured nobody actually saw the game)1wiz.jpg

Tom Arnold is apparently still considered a celebrity, as evidenced by his courtside seats at a recent Lakers game.


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Bradley Center hot dogs send Bucks coach Scott Skiles to the bathroom during the fourth quarter of Saturday’s win over the Pacers.1skiles.jpgRon Artest loves The Max this much.
So do these guys.

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