After an exhausting three years of existence, the Washington Nationals have changed their uniform design. The organization unveiled the new-look unis at a press conference held last Thursday in the nation’s capital. Modeling the uniforms were outfielders Roger Bernadina and Austin Kearns… oh wait… no, that’s not right. Those were actually two female models that could probably hit better than .217, which neither Bernadina nor Kearns could do last season.
By the way, these are the same Washington Nationals that had a Major League low 59 wins last season. And if you’re keeping score at home, they also owned the third worst ERA and batting average in the National League. It’s good to see they are spending their off-season wisely by designing cute new uniforms. Forget finding somebody who can hit more than 14 home runs in a season (which nobody did for them last season), go get new unis… good idea!
According to a source close to the team, the Nationals’ to-do list looks something like this:
Finish in last place
4. Rent Sex and the City
5. Book trip back to Montreal Botanical Garden (that was fun)
6. Cut Lastings Milledge’s hair
7. Find out what R.I.S.P stands for
8. Go to Winter Meetings
9. Call Phillies… Willy Mo Pena for Ryan Howard?