When good mullets go bad

30 Oct

schintzius_med.jpgDwayne Schintzius certainly turned a lot of heads during his nine-year NBA career. Seriously, when he ran down the court people literally had to turn their head to shield their eyes as the greasy-mullet perched atop his head flopped around. We could forgive Schintzius for his bad hair if he had, say, the three-point touch of Larry Bird, who also owned a bee’s nest and rat tail. But Larry Legend Schintzius is not.

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However, when it comes to which guy had a worse mullet, Schintzius or Bird, that’s up for grabs. But when it comes to naming which guy had the glare of a serial killer? We feel like there’s no argument on that.
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JCVD: We can hear some of you now: “Hey! Jeanne-Claude Van Damme wasn’t an athlete! What gives?

OK, you got us. But he did play Frank Dux in the movie “Blood Sport,” and The Max loves that movie, so that gives JCVD an honorary membership into our post on totally rad mullets.
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The pride and joy of The Max: A.C. Slater. His jheri-curl mullet may not have allowed him to score Kelly Kapowski (who later became Kelly Morris after marrying Zack), but Slater was the star of the Bayside Tiger’s wrestling team. A.C. was also part of his college wrestling team at California University. He as much as anyone belongs on this list, so congrats and welcome aboard, Albert Clifford.
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We’ve been seeing a lot of Andre Agassi lately at The Max. There was the unforgivable Canon ad from the 1990’s and now here he is resembling a Boy George lookalike, sporting a dreamy mullet, a scruffy mug and a furry chest. Ugh. There’s few words we can use to describe this debacle of a picture, so we’ll just let the photo speak for itself.
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We know he was once a member of the Yankees, but it’s impossible to keep him off the list: Randy Johnson. It’s bad enough he looks like Big Bird’s anorexic brother, but that hairdo is 

randy.jpgenough to make us forget he was dominant from the mound. (Whoops. Did we just say “was” dominant?)

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We know we missed a few mullets, but don’t worry because The Max plans on revisiting some that didn’t make the list in the very near future. However, if there is someone you feel we absolutely must add, or if you want to tell us how much you love our work, please drop us a line: themax_blog@ymail.com. But be warned, dear readers, you might get an email back.

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