Shumway out in Phoenix

24 Jan

In case you missed it (seeing as it’s hockey news, we’re assuming you did), Phoenix Coyotes CEO Jeff Shumway “resigned” from his post yesterday.

Calls into Shumway’s people and the Coyotes’ front office have gone unanswered, but The Max was able to secure an exclusive interview with the former CEO’s brother, Gordon:

The Max:
How did you hear of the news regarding your brother?
Gordon: I actually just read it on the Internet about an hour ago. My roommate, Willie, was hogging the computer all morning. When I finally got on, I visited my usual morning stops –,, – I saw it when I got to

The Max: So he never called you to let you know about the news?
Gordon: No, we haven’t talked in years.

The Max: Really? Why?
Gordon: Well, I’m not sure if you know this, but we’re not from around here. I actually came to the States back in 1986. And I think he still holds a grudge about me never sending for him. To be honest, I completely forgot about him. I made friends with a family in California called the Tanners, and was having so much fun hanging out with them that I completely forgot about him.

The Max: So you haven’t talked to him since the mid-1980s?
Gordon: No, that’s not completely accurate. We made amends briefly, but then went our separate ways again after I asked for compensation for being the inspiration for the Coyotes’ logo. He insists that the image isn’t me. But, come on. Anybody can see that he patterned it after me. Just look at that nose… Ha!

The Max:
So what are you doing now? Are you still hanging with the Tanners?
Gordon: Kinda. I actually mostly hang with Willie, my current roommate. The family kinda broke up about 10 years ago. Sad story. It all started when their cat, Lucky, went missing, which I swear I had nothing to do with. The son, Brian, couldn’t handle the loss and turned to drugs. Willie’s wife, Kate, said she was going to go out looking for Lucky, but never returned. Ironically, Mr. Ochmonek next door went missing around the same time. You do the math on that one. And I still see Lynn every now and then… if you know what I mean.

The Max: Ok, this interview is taking a turn down a street we don’t think we need to go down. Anyway, Gordon, send us a photo. I’m sure our readers would like to see if there is a resemblance between you and the Coyotes’ logo.


One Response to “Shumway out in Phoenix”

  1. juliasrants at 12:39 pm #

    You know, you guys should be up for a Pulitzer Price for your investigative reporting.


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