Tag Archives: Predator

Larry Fitzgerald is not who you think he is

30 Jan
While our research is still in the preliminary stages of the Scientific Method (remember that?), we’d like to be the first to report our findings: Larry Fitzgerald may actually be a species of the Predator from the film that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Remember that?)

Just know that we’re onto you, Fitz! It’s apparent that the you and your alien beings have acquired the ability to shape-shift, but it’ll take a lot more than that to fool us Sherlock’s over here at The Max. 

Things you have in common with the alien: 
  • Same hair. 
  • Extremely agile.
  • Tall and slender.
  • Shredded, ripped physiques.
OK, so your ribs aren’t showing through your skin and you don’t have vampire-sharp fangs or weird elephant-like tusks wrapping around your face. Big deal. We’re not buying it. 
Just know that if we see any funny business on Sunday — like a tentacle pop out of your jersey or a UFO hovering around the stadium, we’re going to throw a flag on you for it. Don’t think we won’t.