Tag Archives: Sgt. Slaughter

Most ridiculous first pitches

24 Apr

The San Diego Padres recently celebrated Earth Day by having a representative of the Steinhart Aquarium throw out the ceremonial first pitch while holding a red-tail boa constrictor… nothing says baseball like a snake! The silly sight made us think of some of the most ridiculous ceremonial first pitches in baseball history. Here’s what we came up with. Did we miss any?

Chris Andrews, Steinhart Aquarium, 4/22/09, San Diego Padres

pitchsnalke.jpgAl “igator Arms” Roker, 10/15/07, Cleveland Indians

The Today Show weatherman “threw out” the first pitch before Game 3 of the 2007 ALCS. For such a big guy, it sure does look like his arms shrunk. Come on, aligator arms, throw the thing.
aarms.jpgAl “igator Arms” Roker, 6/10/08, Boston Red Sox
You would think that after looking like a complete fool in the above image, The Roker wouldn’t dare step on an MLB mound again. Not the case. As you can see, he had no problem struggling through another first pitch in Boston.
aarmsnb.jpgChew-Freaking-Bacca, Seriously… Chewbacca, 9/28/05, Boston Red Sox
Looks like the lefty has no problem picking up the babes. Who knew Princess Leia liked ‘em hairy?
chewboston.jpgChewbacca… again, 8/22/06, Florida Marlins
This time, Chewy has traded in his lovely lady for an Ewok. Bad call, dude. Hey, wait a minute, we thought Chewbacca was a lefty. Something’s fishy here.
chewfish.jpgSgt. Slaughter, 6/30/07, Florida Marlins
The Marlins went from fake (Chewbacca) to faker when they invited former WWE Champion Sgt. Slaughter to throw out the first pitch. We’re pretty sure that he lubed up the ball with some Vaseline when the ump wasn’t looking.
sarge.jpgSanta, 7/18/08, Florida Marlins
Believe it or not, the Marlins move more towards reality by allowing Santa throw out the first pitch against the Phillies. Yes, The Max considers Santa to be more of a reality than wrestling.
santaaa.jpgVictoria Beckham, 6/11/07, L.A. Dodgers
I guess when you’re as hot as Victoria Beckham, it doesn’t matter that you zero athletic ability. Is she intentionally trying to throw an eephus pitch?
vickbeck.jpgMariah Carey, 5/28/08, Yomiuri Giants
See Victoria Beckham.
mariah.jpgDonald Trump, 8/18/06, Boston Red Sox
There are few things better than seeing a man richer than you unintentionally make his constipated face in public.
trump.jpgPunxsutawney Phil, 9/19/04, Pittsburgh Pirates
Only the Pirates would drag Punxy Phil out to the mound in September.
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Famous sports fans (Part IV)

13 Mar

This is it, folks. This is the final installment of our “Famous Sports Fans” series. Well, that’s not necessarily true. If we’re pressed for time and need a quick post, this franchise can easily be resurrected. We didn’t even pull out Dwight Schrute (Scranton-Wilkes Barre Red Barons) or Captain Jack Sparrow (Pittsburgh Pirates) yet.


Part IV: The pilot of the Millennium Falcon, a fast-food eating blob of purple, the coolest superhero ever and a real American hero round out the list.

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Part III: A Friday night mainstay on ABC’s TGIF lineup, the coolest guy at Bayside High School, the Yankees’ worst employee ever and the host of California’s wildly popular talk show, “Wake Up, San Francisco.”

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Part II: This installment includes royalty, the king of observational
humor, a dude who wears Coke-bottle lenses and a cartoon dad who only
has two strands of hair.

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Part I: From the man who scored four touchdowns in one game for the Polk High Panthers in the 1966 city championship against Andrew Johnson High to the guy who made stupid animal grunts while breaking machines with Al Borland, here are some famous sports fans The Max found in the vault (also known to some as “The Internets”).

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