Tag Archives: Santa

Most ridiculous first pitches

24 Apr

The San Diego Padres recently celebrated Earth Day by having a representative of the Steinhart Aquarium throw out the ceremonial first pitch while holding a red-tail boa constrictor… nothing says baseball like a snake! The silly sight made us think of some of the most ridiculous ceremonial first pitches in baseball history. Here’s what we came up with. Did we miss any?

Chris Andrews, Steinhart Aquarium, 4/22/09, San Diego Padres

pitchsnalke.jpgAl “igator Arms” Roker, 10/15/07, Cleveland Indians

The Today Show weatherman “threw out” the first pitch before Game 3 of the 2007 ALCS. For such a big guy, it sure does look like his arms shrunk. Come on, aligator arms, throw the thing.
aarms.jpgAl “igator Arms” Roker, 6/10/08, Boston Red Sox
You would think that after looking like a complete fool in the above image, The Roker wouldn’t dare step on an MLB mound again. Not the case. As you can see, he had no problem struggling through another first pitch in Boston.
aarmsnb.jpgChew-Freaking-Bacca, Seriously… Chewbacca, 9/28/05, Boston Red Sox
Looks like the lefty has no problem picking up the babes. Who knew Princess Leia liked ‘em hairy?
chewboston.jpgChewbacca… again, 8/22/06, Florida Marlins
This time, Chewy has traded in his lovely lady for an Ewok. Bad call, dude. Hey, wait a minute, we thought Chewbacca was a lefty. Something’s fishy here.
chewfish.jpgSgt. Slaughter, 6/30/07, Florida Marlins
The Marlins went from fake (Chewbacca) to faker when they invited former WWE Champion Sgt. Slaughter to throw out the first pitch. We’re pretty sure that he lubed up the ball with some Vaseline when the ump wasn’t looking.
sarge.jpgSanta, 7/18/08, Florida Marlins
Believe it or not, the Marlins move more towards reality by allowing Santa throw out the first pitch against the Phillies. Yes, The Max considers Santa to be more of a reality than wrestling.
santaaa.jpgVictoria Beckham, 6/11/07, L.A. Dodgers
I guess when you’re as hot as Victoria Beckham, it doesn’t matter that you zero athletic ability. Is she intentionally trying to throw an eephus pitch?
vickbeck.jpgMariah Carey, 5/28/08, Yomiuri Giants
See Victoria Beckham.
mariah.jpgDonald Trump, 8/18/06, Boston Red Sox
There are few things better than seeing a man richer than you unintentionally make his constipated face in public.
trump.jpgPunxsutawney Phil, 9/19/04, Pittsburgh Pirates
Only the Pirates would drag Punxy Phil out to the mound in September.
punx.jpg

The Lions are actually, seriously, no kidding — No. 1

25 Nov

Even with a disturbing 0-11 record, the Detroit Lions are still the No. 1…

lions.jpg

  • santa.jpgTeam that Santa will skip when cruising around distributing presents. The Clauses are big-time bettors, and the Lions have cost them dearly this year. Get ready for a big fat chunk of coal on Dec. 25, Detroit.

  • Biggest waste of Thanksgiving TV time in the history of pigskin.
  • Team where most players lie about their job. It’s widely known that around the Motor City the guys on the squad say they are lion tamers, not Lions players.
  • Owners of the dirtiest uniforms in the game. (Think about it — 11 sets of cleat marks have trampled their jerseys. That’s a lot of Shout.)
  • Reason the XFL is pushing for a comeback. “They’re just as lousy as we ever was,” cited former XFL star Otis “Hit Squad” Floyd.

What else are the Lions No. 1 at? Leave a comment or Email us: themax_blog@ymail.com

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