Here’s the scenario: You are a pro basketball player, and you are a baller. You were the first player to successfully do a front-flip dunk from the foul line during a game. LeBron told the press that he’s afraid to matchup against you one-on-one. You’ve won lots of trophies and even more NBA accolades. But you’re missing a signature shoe line! So now you have to pick one of these:
Nike Air Force 180 Pump — 1992
David Robinson sported these kicks during the 1992 season. The Admiral loved his high tops almost as much as he loved jacking up his game shorts so they’d hang at mid-thigh.
Air Jordan XI — 1995
Perhaps the most popular shoe of all-time, the Air Jordan XI represent b-ball shoe perfection to some. To critics, they look like space boots.
LeBron James Zoom Soldier II — 2008
Let’s face it: LeBron could wear blocks of concrete on his feet and they’d be top-sellers at the shoe store. However, these aren’t that awful looking, really. But do you want to wear the shoes of a guy that’s scared to guard you? That’s something to consider.
Shaqnosis — 1992
Careful, don’t stare at these too long or you might get vertigo.
They did put consumers in a trance, as these Reebok’s sold well and certainly were a memorable design.
Converse Aero Jam — 1993
Remember when people would say “LJ” and mean former Hornets and Knicks forward Larry Johnson, not LeBron?
These Converse had the React juice, which was apparently so popular and legit that these days it’s mentioned about as much as Johnson’s alter ego — Grandmama.
adidas KB8 — 1999
Notice how we separated Kobe’s shoes from Shaq’s? We’re on top of stuff like that.
At first glance, the shoe look big and bulky. But after a second look, it looks, well, big and bulky. They would never work today, since the KB24 doesn’t have the same ring as KB8.
Reebok Question — 1996
Practice? These sneakers are gamers, and we’re sitting here talking about … practice. Allen Iverson — then a member of the 76ers — was the inspiration behind one of Reebok’s most popular models in history.
Which shoes do you pick and why?
By now you’ve probably heard about the “big joke” San Antonio coach Gregg Popovich played on Shaquille O’Neal on Wednesday by having the Spurs implement the Hack-a-Shaq strategy within the first few seconds of the the Phoenix-San Antonio game. (Check out the video here)
The gag was a playful response to O’Neal’s rant last season during the NBA playoffs when he called Popovich and the Spurs “cowards” for committing so many fouls on him. While the gag got a chuckle from the Diesel, we feel the real joke was overlooked — Shaq’s acting career.
Take a look at what a few of our celebrity friends (Borat, American Idol’s Simon Cowell and The Simpsons‘ Comic Book Guy) had to save about The Big Daddy’s choice in movie roles:
Don’t think we forgot about the “The Wash” or “Freddy Got Fingered.” We couldn’t do that, especially since we got sick to our stomachs after watching both unfunny time-eaters in the theater (our girlfriends dragged us there, we swear).
To put how bad they were into perspective, RottenTomatoes.com gave “The Wash” an 8 percent and “Freddy” a dismal 10 percent on the TomatoMeter. But that’s kind compared to what Comic Book Guy had to say:
“I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”
— Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece
Keep checking The Max for more dumb quotes from your favorite athletes.