Tag Archives: Kobe Bryant

Oh, how the times have changed

5 Mar

Ever wonder just how different things are now from way back when? We did, too. So here you go. Enjoy.

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One Shoe to Rule Them All

8 Feb

Here’s the scenario: You are a pro basketball player, and you are a baller. You were the first player to successfully do a front-flip dunk from the foul line during a game. LeBron told the press that he’s afraid to matchup against you one-on-one. You’ve won lots of trophies and even more NBA accolades. But you’re missing a signature shoe line! So now you have to pick one of these:

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Nike Air Force 180 Pump — 1992

David Robinson sported these kicks during the 1992 season. The Admiral loved his high tops almost as much as he loved jacking up his game shorts so they’d hang at mid-thigh.

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Air Jordan XI — 1995

Perhaps the most popular shoe of all-time, the Air Jordan XI represent b-ball shoe perfection to some. To critics, they look like space boots.
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LeBron James Zoom Soldier II — 2008

Let’s face it: LeBron could wear blocks of concrete on his feet and they’d be top-sellers at the shoe store. However, these aren’t that awful looking, really. But do you want to wear the shoes of a guy that’s scared to guard you? That’s something to consider.

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Shaqnosis — 1992
Careful, don’t stare at these too long or you might get vertigo. 
They did put consumers in a trance, as these Reebok’s sold well and certainly were a memorable design. 
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Converse Aero Jam — 1993
Remember when people would say “LJ” and mean former Hornets and Knicks forward Larry Johnson, not LeBron?
These Converse had the React juice, which was apparently so popular and legit that these days it’s mentioned about as much as Johnson’s alter ego — Grandmama.
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adidas KB8 — 1999

Notice how we separated Kobe’s shoes from Shaq’s? We’re on top of stuff like that. 
At first glance, the shoe look big and bulky. But after a second look, it looks, well, big and bulky. They would never work today, since the KB24 doesn’t have the same ring as KB8.
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Reebok Question — 1996

Practice? These sneakers are gamers, and we’re sitting here talking about … practice. Allen Iverson — then a member of the 76ers — was the inspiration behind one of Reebok’s most popular models in history.

Which shoes do you pick and why? 

The License Plate Game

6 Feb

Most celebrities usually covet their privacy. But not these superstars. Check out the vanity plates of the below athletes. They clearly have a lot on their minds (in most cases) and want you to know about it.

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Have you spotted any athletes’ vanity plates? If so, tell us what they say below.

Whos the worst of the worst?

19 Jan

cavs23mvp.jpgThe normally egotistical Kobe Bryant recently stated that he thinks LeBron James is the NBA MVP so far this season. A couple things come to mind immediately:

1. Duh.

2. We obviously agree; but more importantly, we want to know who would be crowned the NBA’s anti-Lebron James. If Lebron is THE best of the best, who is the worst of the worst? We know the LVP (Least Valuable Player) award has never been actually handed out. But that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be. Luckily, The Max is here to formally award the crown of LVP to one very deserving NBA “star.” But before we do that, here are some of the runners-up:

  • Eddy Curry (NY Knicks): Despite clocking only three minutes of playing time this season, Chubs is cashing a check worth more than $9.5 million. We’re not so good with the math, but we do know that’s a lot of coin per minute. Have a salad, by the way.
  • Jerome James (NY Knicks): $6.2 million this year to play in two games… that’s it, two games. Adding to his uselessness, James reportedly suffered some sort of girly injury on Sunday that will keep him out for the rest of the season. Not for nothin’, but wasn’t he out for the rest of the season anyway?
  • Danilo Gallinari (NY Knicks): Who thought drafting this piason 6th overall was a good idea? If you’re keeping score at home, he’s getting more than $2.8 million this season and he’s only played three games.

Are you seeing a pattern here? Yes, they are all members of the Knicks. And no, we are not being biased. Taking everything into account, the above three names are legitimately three of the least valuable players in the NBA.

But there can only be one LVP. And the winner is:

lvp.jpgOnly in America can you get paid more than $28 million to do absolutely nothing. Congrats, Steph.

This isnt how LeBron or Kobe practice…

5 Jan
We’ve heard of unorthodox training methods, but we’re willing to bet LeBron James and Kobe Bryant aren’t implementing this into their workout routines…

 

They said it … select quotes from 08

30 Dec

nader123008.jpgRalph Nader, responding to The Washington Post’s decision that it
wouldn’t cover his presidential campaign because he had no chance of
winning: “Then why are you covering the Nationals?”

Charles Barkley, regarding the steroid allegations haunting Barry Bonds: “You all act like it’s a big deal to gain weight when you get old. I got it down to an exact science.”

Bill Maher of HBO, on Roger Clemens: “You can’t deny you did steroids if your head is wider than it is tall.”

John Daly, to a spectator who asked Daly to autograph an empty beer can at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic: “Don’t you have a full one?”


Kobe Bryant, on how his Los Angeles Lakers blew a 20-point, second-half lead and lost to the Boston Celtics 97-91 in Game 4 of the NBA Finals: “We just wet the bed. A nice big one, too. One of the ones you can’t put a towel over.”

docrivers123008.jpgDoc Rivers, Boston Celtics coach, after being asked how long Kevin Garnett would be out with a strained abdominal muscle: “You know Doc’s a nickname, correct?

Coco Crisp, Red Sox outfielder, on the team’s decision to stop fans from spreading cremation ashes at Fenway Park: “It’s kind of freaky knowing you’re diving into somebody’s grandpa.”

Alla Kudryavtseva on what motivated her to beat tennis star Maria Sharapova in Wimbledon’s second round:  “It’s very pleasant to beat Maria…Why? Well, I don’t like her outfit.”

David Letterman: “Halloween It’s the dead walking among the living? They’re dead but they’re walking around. No, wait a minute, that’s the McCain campaign.

brooke_123008.jpgBrooke “The Smartest Woman Alive” HoganYou know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ’cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?“ 

“I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don’t go out or anything. I just feel like an old fart.”Britney Spears on her life as a parent. 

Pretty much anything Sarah Palin said ended up on some blooper reel, but this one about her foreign policy qualifications takes the cake, whatever that stupid expression means…

There’s a billion more quotes out there, sure, but we like these. Of course, there’s also the Chad Ocho Cinco, T.O., George W. Bush, Shaq catalogue, but we tend to bust on them enough, and we decided to wait until the new year to launch a full-scale assault on some of our favorite targets. 

Bad ideas with ink

16 Oct

steph.jpgAdmittedly, the Stephon Marbury head tattoo story broke a few months ago. But we didn’t see such a rush to jump on it. What’s the hurry anyway? Tattoos are forever. It’s not like the darn thing is gonna get up and walk away. Anyway, the stories we saw about the ink largely revolved around what a great marketing idea it was. We see it a little differently. In a word, the tattoo is: Dumb! Here’s a look at some other athletic ink that makes us scratch our collective head.

 

 

 

 
 

 

oster.jpgGreg Ostertag
At a towering 7-foot-2, the former Utah Jazz Center should be as intimidating as they come. Just don’t look at his right leg. Ohhh, you looked!?! Yeah, that’s a cartoon character. Even worse, it’s Fred Flintsone (he may have gotten away with it if it was The Incredible Hulk or something like that).

Anyway, what the heck is Freddy doing with a basketball? Shouldn’t he be playing less hoops and concentrating more on inventing brakes for his car. His heels must be killing him by now.

 Yabba Dabba Dumb!

 

 

 


andrebrown.jpgAndre Brown
We’re not quite sure what it says, but we’re tempted to do a book report on it once we find the time to read it. Nobody has been able to tell us the motivation behind this “artwork,” however, we’re guessing Andre went to the head one too many times without a newspaper. With his new tattoo, he won’t ever have to worry about having nothing to read again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

redskins.jpgRedskins fan
This unknown (probably for the best) Redskins fan has every Hall of Fame member of his favorite NFL team permanently inked to his back. Umm, who’s gonna tell him he looks dumb?

Furthermore, what if somebody from the current roster gets inducted? Or even worse, what if several more get inducted? Where do they go? On his butt? Do you really want a guy’s name tattooed on your rear end? Way to go, guy. Next time, call us. We’ll talk you through it.

 

 

 

 

 

miller.jpgBrad Miller
Man, we thought Ostertag’s tat was bad. But this one is plain childish. By the looks of this photo, though, it looks like kids might be his key demographic. Isn’t it great how the young girl already has the “I’m annoyed with you” look down? She’ll make a great wife one day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lita.jpgLita
Question: How do you ugly up a pretty girl?

Answer: You put a huge, demonic tattoo on her shoulder.

It’s truly unfortunate. This former WWE diva had an amazing build and great smile. We just can’t get past the tattoo. Rumor has it she added on a few more since her WWE days. We didn’t feel compelled to find photos, though. We prefer to remember her as only slightly tainted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Davydova.jpgAnastasia Davydova
Russian synchronized swimmer Anastasia Davydova really loves butterflies… oh forget it. We don’t have anything witty to say. We just wanted to post this photo (for obvious reasons).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


denny.jpgDenny Neagle
We don’t know what’s funnier – Denny Neagle’s tough-guy, shirtless look? Or his tattoo? If we were forced to answer, we would say the tattoo. Mainly because we have no idea what it is. Our best guess is that the big ball is probably where he wanted his pitches to go. The smaller balls are where they actually went. There has to be some reason for his 5.81 ERA in the Bronx.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


deron.jpgDeron Williams
The basketball tattoo – one of our all-time favorites. Experts (us) say there are more NBA players with a ball inked to their body than not. We just chose to pick on Williams in this case (because he was the first one we saw).

So why do you think these guys feel compelled to get this tattoo? Is it because they are proud to be playing basketball for a living? Well, I always wanted to write a blog for a living. You don’t see a keyboard permanently inked on my arm. My uncle was a mailman. He never had a stamp tattooed to his shoulder.

 

 

 

 


Duvendeck.jpgAdam Duvendeck
Who? Yeah, exactly. Adam Duvendeck is an American cyclist who has already been forgotten by the few people that knew who he was. At least he has this cool tattoo to remind him that he was once mildly recognizable. It’s just too bad he can’t see it (and we can).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


kobe.jpgKobe Bryant
We actually don’t think tattooing his wife’s name on his arm is such a bad idea. Apparently, he needs constant reminders that he is, in fact, in a monogamous relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


tyson.jpgMike Tyson
No comment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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