Ever wonder just how different things are now from way back when? We did, too. So here you go. Enjoy.
Nike Air Force 180 Pump — 1992
Which shoes do you pick and why?
Most celebrities usually covet their privacy. But not these superstars. Check out the vanity plates of the below athletes. They clearly have a lot on their minds (in most cases) and want you to know about it.
The normally egotistical Kobe Bryant recently stated that he thinks LeBron James is the NBA MVP so far this season. A couple things come to mind immediately:
2. We obviously agree; but more importantly, we want to know who would be crowned the NBA’s anti-Lebron James. If Lebron is THE best of the best, who is the worst of the worst? We know the LVP (Least Valuable Player) award has never been actually handed out. But that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be. Luckily, The Max is here to formally award the crown of LVP to one very deserving NBA “star.” But before we do that, here are some of the runners-up:
- Eddy Curry (NY Knicks): Despite clocking only three minutes of playing time this season, Chubs is cashing a check worth more than $9.5 million. We’re not so good with the math, but we do know that’s a lot of coin per minute. Have a salad, by the way.
- Jerome James (NY Knicks): $6.2 million this year to play in two games… that’s it, two games. Adding to his uselessness, James reportedly suffered some sort of girly injury on Sunday that will keep him out for the rest of the season. Not for nothin’, but wasn’t he out for the rest of the season anyway?
- Danilo Gallinari (NY Knicks): Who thought drafting this piason 6th overall was a good idea? If you’re keeping score at home, he’s getting more than $2.8 million this season and he’s only played three games.
Are you seeing a pattern here? Yes, they are all members of the Knicks. And no, we are not being biased. Taking everything into account, the above three names are legitimately three of the least valuable players in the NBA.
But there can only be one LVP. And the winner is:
Only in America can you get paid more than $28 million to do absolutely nothing. Congrats, Steph.
Ralph Nader, responding to The Washington Post’s decision that it
wouldn’t cover his presidential campaign because he had no chance of
winning: “Then why are you covering the Nationals?”
Charles Barkley, regarding the steroid allegations haunting Barry Bonds: “You all act like it’s a big deal to gain weight when you get old. I got it down to an exact science.”
Bill Maher of HBO, on Roger Clemens: “You can’t deny you did steroids if your head is wider than it is tall.”
Doc Rivers, Boston Celtics coach, after being asked how long Kevin Garnett would be out with a strained abdominal muscle: “You know Doc’s a nickname, correct?“
Coco Crisp, Red Sox outfielder, on the team’s decision to stop fans from spreading cremation ashes at Fenway Park: “It’s kind of freaky knowing you’re diving into somebody’s grandpa.”
Alla Kudryavtseva on what motivated her to beat tennis star Maria Sharapova in Wimbledon’s second round: “It’s very pleasant to beat Maria…Why? Well, I don’t like her outfit.”
Brooke “The Smartest Woman Alive” Hogan: “You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ’cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?“
Admittedly, the Stephon Marbury head tattoo story broke a few months ago. But we didn’t see such a rush to jump on it. What’s the hurry anyway? Tattoos are forever. It’s not like the darn thing is gonna get up and walk away. Anyway, the stories we saw about the ink largely revolved around what a great marketing idea it was. We see it a little differently. In a word, the tattoo is: Dumb! Here’s a look at some other athletic ink that makes us scratch our collective head.
At a towering 7-foot-2, the former Utah Jazz Center should be as intimidating as they come. Just don’t look at his right leg. Ohhh, you looked!?! Yeah, that’s a cartoon character. Even worse, it’s Fred Flintsone (he may have gotten away with it if it was The Incredible Hulk or something like that).
Anyway, what the heck is Freddy doing with a basketball? Shouldn’t he be playing less hoops and concentrating more on inventing brakes for his car. His heels must be killing him by now.
Yabba Dabba Dumb!
We’re not quite sure what it says, but we’re tempted to do a book report on it once we find the time to read it. Nobody has been able to tell us the motivation behind this “artwork,” however, we’re guessing Andre went to the head one too many times without a newspaper. With his new tattoo, he won’t ever have to worry about having nothing to read again.
This unknown (probably for the best) Redskins fan has every Hall of Fame member of his favorite NFL team permanently inked to his back. Umm, who’s gonna tell him he looks dumb?
Furthermore, what if somebody from the current roster gets inducted? Or even worse, what if several more get inducted? Where do they go? On his butt? Do you really want a guy’s name tattooed on your rear end? Way to go, guy. Next time, call us. We’ll talk you through it.
Man, we thought Ostertag’s tat was bad. But this one is plain childish. By the looks of this photo, though, it looks like kids might be his key demographic. Isn’t it great how the young girl already has the “I’m annoyed with you” look down? She’ll make a great wife one day.
Question: How do you ugly up a pretty girl?
Answer: You put a huge, demonic tattoo on her shoulder.
It’s truly unfortunate. This former WWE diva had an amazing build and great smile. We just can’t get past the tattoo. Rumor has it she added on a few more since her WWE days. We didn’t feel compelled to find photos, though. We prefer to remember her as only slightly tainted.
Russian synchronized swimmer Anastasia Davydova really loves butterflies… oh forget it. We don’t have anything witty to say. We just wanted to post this photo (for obvious reasons).
We don’t know what’s funnier – Denny Neagle’s tough-guy, shirtless look? Or his tattoo? If we were forced to answer, we would say the tattoo. Mainly because we have no idea what it is. Our best guess is that the big ball is probably where he wanted his pitches to go. The smaller balls are where they actually went. There has to be some reason for his 5.81 ERA in the Bronx.
The basketball tattoo – one of our all-time favorites. Experts (us) say there are more NBA players with a ball inked to their body than not. We just chose to pick on Williams in this case (because he was the first one we saw).
So why do you think these guys feel compelled to get this tattoo? Is it because they are proud to be playing basketball for a living? Well, I always wanted to write a blog for a living. You don’t see a keyboard permanently inked on my arm. My uncle was a mailman. He never had a stamp tattooed to his shoulder.
Who? Yeah, exactly. Adam Duvendeck is an American cyclist who has already been forgotten by the few people that knew who he was. At least he has this cool tattoo to remind him that he was once mildly recognizable. It’s just too bad he can’t see it (and we can).
We actually don’t think tattooing his wife’s name on his arm is such a bad idea. Apparently, he needs constant reminders that he is, in fact, in a monogamous relationship.