Tag Archives: Allen Iverson

One Shoe to Rule Them All

8 Feb

Here’s the scenario: You are a pro basketball player, and you are a baller. You were the first player to successfully do a front-flip dunk from the foul line during a game. LeBron told the press that he’s afraid to matchup against you one-on-one. You’ve won lots of trophies and even more NBA accolades. But you’re missing a signature shoe line! So now you have to pick one of these:

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Nike Air Force 180 Pump — 1992

David Robinson sported these kicks during the 1992 season. The Admiral loved his high tops almost as much as he loved jacking up his game shorts so they’d hang at mid-thigh.

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Air Jordan XI — 1995

Perhaps the most popular shoe of all-time, the Air Jordan XI represent b-ball shoe perfection to some. To critics, they look like space boots.
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LeBron James Zoom Soldier II — 2008

Let’s face it: LeBron could wear blocks of concrete on his feet and they’d be top-sellers at the shoe store. However, these aren’t that awful looking, really. But do you want to wear the shoes of a guy that’s scared to guard you? That’s something to consider.

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Shaqnosis — 1992
Careful, don’t stare at these too long or you might get vertigo. 
They did put consumers in a trance, as these Reebok’s sold well and certainly were a memorable design. 
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Converse Aero Jam — 1993
Remember when people would say “LJ” and mean former Hornets and Knicks forward Larry Johnson, not LeBron?
These Converse had the React juice, which was apparently so popular and legit that these days it’s mentioned about as much as Johnson’s alter ego — Grandmama.
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adidas KB8 — 1999

Notice how we separated Kobe’s shoes from Shaq’s? We’re on top of stuff like that. 
At first glance, the shoe look big and bulky. But after a second look, it looks, well, big and bulky. They would never work today, since the KB24 doesn’t have the same ring as KB8.
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Reebok Question — 1996

Practice? These sneakers are gamers, and we’re sitting here talking about … practice. Allen Iverson — then a member of the 76ers — was the inspiration behind one of Reebok’s most popular models in history.

Which shoes do you pick and why? 

Rodney Stuckey (who?) needs to realize his place in the world

4 Nov

number3.jpgPistons fans across the Detroit area celebrated when news broke that they acquired perennial All-Star Allen Iverson on Monday. Unfortunately, Rodney Stuckey, the Pistons second-year guard, is feeling a little differently. According to reports, Stuckey feels attached to his uniform number (3) and doesn’t plan on handing it over to the legendary guard, who has been wearing the number since Stuckey was in elementary school. Instead, if Iverson wants it so badly, Stuckey hopes to somehow sell it or strike some type of deal with his new teammate.

Hey, Stuckey. We Googled you to find out exactly who you are (seriously, we never heard of you before). Here’s what we found: You’ve been in the league for a cup of coffee. Iverson averages more than 10 points (and 4 assists) a  game than you. And you’re a baby.

We know, it’s hard for you to hear these things. But to help you make up for your selfish behavior, we’ve compiled the Top 10 things you should do for Allen Iverson to prove you understand your new role on the team:

10. Give yourself a wedgie to save Iverson the time of having to do it himself.

9. Blow on his car tires to cool them off after a long trip.

8. Physically change the channels on his TV when his batteries die.

7. Sing him lullabies when he has trouble falling asleep.

6. Teach him how to spell the word “three.” (Good luck)

5. Give him your lunch money.

4. Lose to him in NBA ’09 to help boost his confidence.

3. Walk him to practice (Seriously… with him on your back… in snow, uphill both ways)

2. Cut his meat before sitting down to dinner.

1. Give him the uniform number 3 and any other uniform number divisible by 3. Then forget the number 3 ever existed. Take it out of your vocabulary completely. No joke!