
Right town, wrong profession for Lakers Morrison
2 Mar
Troy Aikman heading Back to School
10 FebAnyone remember the Rodney Dangerfield film, “Back to School”? Paulie from “Rocky”, the late, great Sam Kinnison, Johnny “Cobra Kai” Lawrence from “The Karate Kid” and Robert Downy Jr. from the drunken skeeve Wall of Shame were all in it. ( Watch the trailer.)
Well Troy Aikman is apparently a fan, and he’s taking the title literally. He told the press he’s “finally taking care of business” and heading back to college to get his degree from UCLA.
We wish the former QB luck and all, but we think we’ll wait for the update to arrive on DVD before bothering to worry about Aikman’s school ventures again. He’s OK as a TV personality, but he’s no Rodney Dangerfield, that’s for certain.
Griffeys D.C. gig may spark mass migration
21 NovWe’re happy that Ken Griffey Jr. landed a government gig (full story). It’s smart. Everyone knows that the path to riches isn’t through multimillion dollar baseball deals, anyway. It’s through government scandals and ripping off the tax payers. There’s a ridiculous amount of cash to be swindled through the guise of employment through the state, and we applaud Mr. Jr. for recognizing. We just hope he doesn’t pull a hammy entering his office.

The real joke is Shaqs movie career
31 OctBy now you’ve probably heard about the “big joke” San Antonio coach Gregg Popovich played on Shaquille O’Neal on Wednesday by having the Spurs implement the Hack-a-Shaq strategy within the first few seconds of the the Phoenix-San Antonio game. (Check out the video here)
The gag was a playful response to O’Neal’s rant last season during the NBA playoffs when he called Popovich and the Spurs “cowards” for committing so many fouls on him. While the gag got a chuckle from the Diesel, we feel the real joke was overlooked — Shaq’s acting career.
Take a look at what a few of our celebrity friends (Borat, American Idol’s Simon Cowell and The Simpsons‘ Comic Book Guy) had to save about The Big Daddy’s choice in movie roles:
Don’t think we forgot about the “The Wash” or “Freddy Got Fingered.” We couldn’t do that, especially since we got sick to our stomachs after watching both unfunny time-eaters in the theater (our girlfriends dragged us there, we swear).
To put how bad they were into perspective, RottenTomatoes.com gave “The Wash” an 8 percent and “Freddy” a dismal 10 percent on the TomatoMeter. But that’s kind compared to what Comic Book Guy had to say:
Problem-prone Plaxico gets movie deal
28 OctMovie remakes have been invading theaters at a ferocious pace of late. And with the exception of Jessica Simpson prancing around in a bikini in The Dukes of Hazzard, there’s no real reason to run out and rent them. But that hasn’t stopped decision makers in Tinseltown from investing in remakes. Here’s a few you can look forward to in the near future:
- Alice in Wonderland
- Footloose
- Friday the 13th
- Nightmare on Elm Street
- Short Circuit
- Howard Stern’s Porky’s
- The Evil Dead
- Tron
While The Max wasn’t too hyped for any of those listed above, there was one that captured our curiosity starring Plaxico Burress. Look out High School Musical 3, Plax is about to take over the box office:
