Tag Archives: the Genius

Nationals hunting for new public announcer

15 Dec
There was a thirty-second radio spot last week revealing that the flailing economy has hit the Washington Nationals where it counts — on the public announce system. Having to layoff the PA guy has caused the D.C. squad to hold open tryouts. There’s a shortlist for those they’d consider, and the list may surprise (or appall) you:

Mays is a first-team All-American hustler when it comes to bellowing cheesy catchphrases with his booming voice and I’m-trying-to-rip-you-off smirk. 
On a recent poll taken, his likability was down among Nationals fans (and yes, they had to search long and hard for a Nationals fan). But he’s looking for a new product to swindle people into believing works — and the Washington baseball team may just be that product.




Matthew Lesko is the  goof wearing the question marks all over his clothes. He’s always talking about how people can “borrow” from the government — “For FREE!”  Some people have called him a rip-off artist and a loser — and we call those people ”us.”
But the Nationals believe if he can trick people into actually thinking the government gives money away for free, he can also trick people  into rooting for the Nationals.


Tony Little is best known for his extremely tight spandex workout suits and his well-kept hairband coif. His product, the Gazell, is a mock space-aged contraption that has people looking like fools before they have the opportunity to lose weight.
But if Little can get people to hop on the Gazell and look absolutely ridiculous, perhaps he can get them to hop on the Nationals bandwagon so they ridiculous at the ballpark, too.
(Check out the video to see the “celebrity” spokesperson who swears by the Gazell — former WWE wrestler, the Genius!)