Tag Archives: WWE

10 worst matches in WrestleMania history

12 Mar

The supposed “Granddaddy of ’em All,” WrestleMania, is right around the corner. And the unfortunate trend of WWE booking matches that nobody cares about is continuing, as evidenced by Big Show being included in the World Heavyweight Championship Match. Come on, who really cares about that blob?

In celebration of what will assuredly be a horrible World Heavyweight Championship Match, we have compiled the 10 worst matches in WrestleMania history. No, the Playboy Evening Gown Match will not be on the list. Instead, we’re talking about matches that WWE actually intended on being good. Let’s face it, everybody knew the Evening Gown Match was gonna be a stinker.

10. Triple H vs. Chris Jericho, WrestleMania X8
hx8.jpgYou’ll be hard pressed to find bigger Jericho fans than us. But we even understand his limitations. There should never be a scenario where Y2J is the final match on a WrestleMania card. That type of privilege should be reserved for the likes of Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Randy Savage or even John Cena. Not Chris Jericho. To make matters worse, WWE removed any heat Jericho may have had by having him drop to title to Triple H. Not a good idea. Hunter is on his way to becoming a 67-time World Champion; did he really need to ruin Jericho’s career by winning at WrestleMania? Watch

9. Triple H vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton, WrestleMania XXIV
What ever happened to actually building up to a WrestleMania main event? Not only was the promotion for this match extremely lackluster, but so was the match itself, lowlighted by the out-of-nowhere win by Randy Orton.

8. Alundra Blayze vs. Leilani Kai, WrestleMania X
We understand that Leilani Kai was a part of the first-ever WrestleMania Women’s Championship Match, and that on the 10th anniversary of the event they were feeling a little nostalgic. But there is no reason to roll out an out-of-shape, elderly woman and try to pass her off as a legitimate threat to Alundra Blayze’s Women’s Championship. We would’ve been better off watching grass grow. Watch

7. Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Vicious / Justice, WrestleMania VIII

h8.jpgThis main event was the biggest ball-drop in WWE history. After nearly a decade of Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan claiming dominance in separate promotions, the stars were finally aligned for the two Superstars to square off on the grandest stage of them all. Undoubtedly, this would’ve been the biggest match in wrestling history. But instead, WWE chose to close the show with an exhibition between Hogan and Sid. Unfortunately for wrestling fans, the match was equally hideous. Not only was the finish screwed up, due to poor timing on Papa Shango’s part, but it ended in a lousy DQ. On top of all that, there are rumors that Sid went No. 2 in his tights during the match. For real. Watch

6. Tito Santana vs. The Executioner, WrestleMania I
tt.jpgWhat a way to kick off the biggest event in wrestling history – some masked jobber vs. Tito Santana. The truth is, the masked jobber was actually “Playboy” Buddy Rose, who was somewhat popular at the time. WWE would’ve been better off letting him compete as himself. But apparently, WWE didn’t want the loss on Rose’s record, so they put a mask over his head and sent him out there.

5. Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show
This boxer vs. wrestler match didn’t quite have the cache of Muhammad Ali vs. Gorilla Monsoon. Watch

4. The Great Khali vs. Kane
It’s truly unbelievable that these guys are former World Champions. We could see Kane, maybe. But Khali? Seriously, when was the last time these guys actually performed a wrestling move other than a kick or punch? We guess WWE was just giving all its fans a chance to get some popcorn or use the head. This one was pure garbage. Punch, kick, punch, chop, kick, punch.

3. Test & Albert vs. Steve Blackman & Al Snow, WrestleMania 2000
These four guys are so bad that they really shouldn’t even be on the list. They probably fall under the aforementioned Playboy Evening Gown Match Rule. But this is just one of many examples of how poorly WrestleMania has been booked at times. None of these guys really deserved a WrestleMania match, let alone a match that included all four of them at once. Negative 5 stars.

2. Akebono vs. Big Show
sss111.jpgNothing worse than watching Big Show in a diaper. Who thought this was a good idea? Watch

1. John Cena vs. JBL, WrestleMania 21
ceba.jpgOver the course of WrestleMania history, there have been many classic WWE Championship Matches … Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant, Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels, The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Then there’s John Cena vs. JBL. This match looked more like it deserved to be on Velocity late some Saturday night. After 10 minutes of boredom, the Dr. of Thuganomics hit his lame finisher and the Cena era officially began … unfortunately. Watch

Wrestling Hall of Shame

4 Mar

For some inexplicable reason, on the rare occasion we post wrestling content, we get many emails asking us to do more. For the life of us, we can’t figure out why this is. In response to these emails, we have decided that we will NOT do any wrestling analysis. Who really cares anyway? It’s fake.

What we will do, however, is very quickly every Wednesday induct a new embarrassing wrestling moment into the prestigious Max Wrestling Hall of Shame. Hopefully, this whets some of your appetites while we spend our time focusing on real sports.

This week’s induction: Fake Diesel
After losing former WWE Champion Diesel to rival WCW, WWE found a Diesel lookalike and paraded him out to the ring as if nothing had happened. The person they dressed as Diesel later turned out to be a sure-fire Hall of Shamer Isaac Yankem … the same guy who eventually settled on the persona of Kane. Take a look:



Past Inductions:

Feb. 25, 2009: Vince McMahon singing “Stand Back”
If you thought his work at the announce table was cringe-worthy, just wait until you see VKM singing at the Slammy Awards.

————————————————————–

robocopmax.jpg
Feb. 18, 2009: RoboCop

It’s
hard enough to find people who thought the RoboCop movie was a good
idea, let alone find a single living being who believed the tin-can
cop’s appearance in WCW during the early 1990s was worth watching. (And
people wonder why WCW went out of business.)

At the Capitol
Combat pay-per-view, RoboCop — moving at the speed of an injured snail
— came to his buddy Sting’s aide, rescuing him from a “steel” cage.
See for yourself:

————————————————————–

Feb. 11, 2009: The Shockmaster
Luckily, we found a video
that explains the whole situation… saves us from having to type about
a fake sport. Give it a watch; it’s sad and funny all at once.

Be sure to check back next Wednesday for the latest induction. Also, feel free to leave some nominations below.

Inside the mind of The Max, part 5

3 Mar

Here’s the newest set of questions that have been occupying our every
thought. Let us know if you’re thinking what we’re thinking.

  • phithm.jpgHow fast do you think Phil Hughes will be traded if he accidentally beans Derek Jeter in today’s Yankees vs. USA game? We’re guessing he’s gone by the sixth inning.
  • Are we the only ones that don’t expect Jim Leyland to make it the full season as Tigers manager?
  • Don’t you think Shaq could afford to miss a few meals … or at least have a salad?
  • Speaking of people who could miss a meal or two, does WWE really expect us to pay $50 to see Big Show in the main event of WrestleMania? Yawn!
  • What’s going to happen when the A’s are 1 game back at the trade deadline? Will Holliday still be on the team?
  • Aren’t you tired of the A’s trading away their stars for young, albeit talented, prospects? One of these days, they have to stop thinking about the future and start winning now, right?
  • If there are no ads, and no premium service, how does Twitter make money?

Want free promotion for your blog or website?

17 Feb
Getting free promotion is simple when you come to The Max. You just gotta play an easy word association game with us. If yours are clever enough to make the varsity team, we’ll give you, your company or your website a shout-out just for playing. Be creative. Be funny. Be PG. 
  • Your name
  • Your occupation, blog or website 
  • Two PG-rated photos 
  • A few word associations
Need a better idea of what we’re looking for? Lucky for you, one of The Max’s head button pushers, Zack Zeigler, was kind enough to play the first round as an example.

LeBron James

jameswordgame.jpg
Stephon Marbury

stephwordgame.jpg
John Cena

cenawordgame.jpg
Michael Phelps

phelpswordgame.jpg

Brett Favre

brettwordgame.jpg

Detroit Lions

lionswordgame.jpg
Randy Jackson

randywordgame.jpg
Michael Vick

vickwordgame.jpg

Inside the mind of The Max

16 Feb

The below questions have been bouncing around our noggin for the past few hours/days. We’re willing to bet you’ve been thinking about them too. If so, let us know what you think.

  • budss.jpgDoes Bud Selig realize he shamed MLB with his ignorance more than Alex Rodriguez ever could have? What a hypocrite!
  • Isn’t it kinda weird that Shaq was named co-MVP of the All-Star Game, especially since it’s been three years since he’s put up numbers worthy of being an all-star?
  • Isn’t it lame that the Daytona 500, which is supposedly the Super Bowl of driving around in circles, could be cut short due to rain? Imagine the NFL stopping a game after two-and-a-half quarters.
  • After last night’s No Way Out, should we ever pay $39.99 to watch another WWE pay-per-view? We’re guessing no.
  • Are you as tired as we are of hearing about Brett Favre? (Not that that’s going to stop us from continuing to post Favre entries.)
  • We know the United States is all about second chances, but do we really need to see Michael Vick in an NFL uniform again?
  • If everybody on MLBlogs bought a pair of skates, do you think we can beat the New York Rangers? We do.

CC gets Raw

10 Feb

ccraw.jpgJust days before reporting to Spring Training in Tampa, CC Sabathia took in some WWE action. The new Yankees pitcher was spotted backstage at Monday Night Raw yesterday where he posed with World Heavyweight Champion John Cena.

Don’t turn your back CC, Cena’s a Red Sox fan. He might clobber you with that belt when the ref’s not looking. For more photos, go to WWE.com.

Wrestlers who overstayed their welcome

23 Jan
In honor of Randy “The Ram” Robinson (Mickey Rourke), the character in The Wrestler who refuses to give up on his in-ring career despite being well past his prime, The Max has compiled the Top 10 Wrestlers Who Hung On Too Long. These personalities had great careers in the ring, but tainted their legacy a bit when they refused to hang up their boots. Unfortunately, we’ll never look at these guys the same again.
dusty.jpg10. Dusty Rhodes
The 1970s and 1980s were very kind to Dusty Rhodes. The big Texan dominated the NWA wrestling scene, including the then-prestigious Mid-Atlantic territory, where he captured the NWA World Heavyweight Championship.

But after getting canned in 1988, Dusty, who was well into his 40s at the time, refused to hang up his boots. Instead, he took his game to WWE. Within months of his debut, “The American Dream” managed to throw away his legendary status and adopt ridiculous-looking yellow polka-dot trunks and the world’s worst manager, Sapphire. 

9. Paul Orndorff
Mr. Wonderful owns the prestigious honor of competing in the first-ever WrestleMania main event in 1985. Fast forward to 1995 and the master of the piledriver was still wrestling (at 46 years of age). But his age wasn’t really the problem. Unfortunately, Orndorff was suffering from atrophy, which caused his right side to shrink to skin and bones. The sight of the one-time adonis shrinking in front of everybody’s eyes was truly saddening.
duggan.jpg8. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Hooooooooo! Ol’ Hacksaw is 55 years old and still competing in WWE. Our only guess is that he is trying to take the Johnny Rodz route into the Hall of Fame. Rodz could probably count his number of wins on one hand. But the guy was in WWE so long that they actually put him in the Hall of Fame. Hey Hacksaw, if you’re gonna make us watch you wrestle, can you at least put a shirt on? Or maybe tuck your gut in?
7. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Remember Piper’s retirement match in 1987? How about the hundreds of matches he competed in over the following 20 years? If you ask us, we think he should’ve walked away when he said he was going to. That way we would’ve been saved from watching that pasty white fat man “wrestling” in WWE pay-per-views in 2006. Who thought giving him the World Tag Team Championship at age 52 was a good idea? Here’s the video… fast forward to 6:35 to see a couple of out-of-shape senior citizens.
mool.jpg6. Fabulous Moolah
In 1999, at the age of 137, the Fabulous Moolah defeated Ivory to win the Women’s Championship. Watching it was like watching my grandmother, God rest her soul, wrestling with the can of cat food while feeding her 17 felines… not a pretty site. Her brittle hands just couldn’t figure out the darn can opener. See what we’re talking about.
5. Andre the Giant
This will undoubtedly be an unpopular decision with fringe wrestling fans. But those in the know realize that Andre was pretty much good for nothing after his 25th birthday. He simply could not move around the ring. Andre owes the fact that he is considered a legend to Vince McMahon and his amazing marketing team. They somehow turned an immobile, unintelligible man into a cult hero. Go figure.
4. Ric Flair
We’re happy to see that “The Nature Boy” finally hung up his “RF” boots after last year’s WrestleMania. We’re just curious what took so long. And if he insisted on being in the ring until he was a senior citizen, couldn’t he at least cover up his body a little bit? Watching his leathery, yet flabby, skin flop around the ring was truly vomit-inducing. (His final match… hopefully)
diesel.jpg3. Kevin Nash
This guy can’t even walk into the ring without getting injured… seriously. But at just a few months shy of his 50th birthday, he’s still dragging his sorry body out there. We just wish he would go back to dying his hair. Nobody’s scared of Capt. Grey Beard.
2. Hulk Hogan
The Hulkster is arguably the biggest name in wrestling history, despite his lack of athleticism. This guy was bad at 21, and when he won his most recent WWE championship just shy of his 50th birthday, he wasn’t any better. The sad thing is that every time he climbs into the ring, people watch, even though he barely does his signature leg drop anymore in fear of breaking a hip (that’s seriously what we heard).
anu.jpg1. Legion of Doom
Hands down, Animal & Hawk were the greatest tag team in wrestling history. But like so many others, they just never knew when to say enough. The shine started to come off this duo when they reintroduced themselves as LOD 2000 (in 1998, by the way… two years before the year 2000). The numerically-challenged team then continued to slide into the toilet in the following months, most notably when Hawk’s character started coming to the ring drunk. No joke.
Honorable Mention: Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Scott Steiner, Danny Spivey/Waylon Mercy, The Sheik, Tommy Dreamer, Debra, Mick Foley, Finlay, Dudley Boyz, Ultimate Warrior (was the WCW run really necessary?)

On the flip side, here’s a list of names that the wrestling industry held on to for too long. Age is not a factor here; the only problem was wrestling promoters continuing to push these guys despite a lack of any sort of talent:
10. Ahmed Johnson / Big T
Big dude, little talent.
9. Mark Henry
Bigger dude, less talent.
8. Mabel
Biggest dude, zero talent.

7. Savio Vega
Had the body of a rotten pear. And the charisma of a shoe.
6. Steve McMichael
The only
thing Mongo did worse than wrestle was announce. And remember that
little dog
he had with him at the commentators table? Shoulda stuck to
being a retired football player.
5. Ted Arcidi
Luckily WWE didn’t promote this powerlifter-turned-wrestler too much. But when they did, they did it hard. Unfortunately, this was his best match.
4. David Arquette
WCW champion? Seriously? No wonder WCW went out of business.
3. Albert
Why does Vince continue to push big guys, even if they have zero talent or likability?
2. Test
Not only was he a horrible wrestler, but he also dated Stacy Keibler and Kelly Kelly… three reasons to hate him!
1. X-Pac
In wrestling, bad guys (or heels, as they say in the business) like it when they get booed. It means that they are doing their job well, and in reality, a boo could be considered a cheer. Not in X-Pac’s case, though. When fans were booing him, they were literally telling him to go jump off a tall building.
aasanders.jpgAnd finally, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the wrestlers that just never got a fair shake. Here’s our Top 6 (yeah, we could only come up with 6) names that had the talent and charisma, but Vince never let them stick around long enough to overstay their welcome like the others.

6. Stevie Richards
Sure, he wasn’t great. But how do you keep Brooklyn Brawler around for 30 years and not let Stevie show off his talents?

5. David Flair
Come on, the guy is a Flair. He’s gotta be good for something. From where we sit, there was no need to release him so early into his career.

4. Katie Vick
We know that Katie was not really a wrestler, but as far as storylines go, we wanted to see where this one was going. But instead, they went and put an early end to it. Watching it was like watching a car wreck… you know, when you can’t look away even though it’s so hard to watch.

3. Shannon Moore
At the risk of sounding like chubby WCW announcer Mark Madden, we really thought Shannon Moore was going to turn into the next Shawn Michaels. Instead, he’s now wasting time in a tattoo shop somewhere in North Carolina.

2. Mike Sanders
Anybody with the nickname “Above Average” is OK in our book. In fact, because of Sanders, we like to describe our content as “Above Average.” We think you’d agree… maybe.

1. Disco Inferno
We’re just jealous of his dancing ability.