Tag Archives: Ryan Howard

Ryan Howard vs. Ryan Howard

28 Jan



Who would you rather hang out with?

 Ryan Howard, the Phillies’ slugger asking for 18 million reasons to keep him at first base with the World Champs, or Ryan Howard, the former executive at Dunder Mifflin paper company that was fired and arrested for corruption? We feel it’s a tossup…

Ryan “Phillies” Howard 

ryanhowardphillies.jpg

Pros
  • He’s rich.
  • He wears fancy rings on his fingers.
  • He takes snazzy promo shots.
Cons
  • He plays for the Phillies.
  • He has a bulbous head.
  • He’s left-handed, which makes for awkward handshakes.

Ryan “Dunder Mifflin” Howard

ryanhowardoffice.jpg


Pros
  • He works for… um, a paper company? Well, he’s got a job, at least.
  • Has a criminal record (white-collar crime gets chicks).
Cons
  • He’s been arrested for swindling money.
  • He may or may not have a drug problem.
  • He never really liked Kelly but dated her anyway.
  • Sometimes he sports a scraggly beard that makes him look like a dirtier Kevin Federline.

The verdict? You tell us, but we’re pretty fond of paper… even though the guy associated with it looks like a weaselly creepster.

Theres an obvious joke here…

20 Jan

But we would rather have you guys make it. Here’s an article from Yahoo! Sports, who is quickly becoming our arch-enemy. Even Stevie Wonder can see that this is not Ryan Howard:

ryanhoward.jpgThe truth is, the man in the photo is Adam LaRoche, who was given less than 10 words in the story and wasn’t mentioned until the second-to-last paragraph. That’s just bad.

NLCS Game 2, PS3 Style

9 Oct

nlcs.jpgAccording the expert analysis provided by The Max’s PS3, the Phillies took Game 1 of the NLCS by a score of 14-3. Because we know you will probably be stuck in traffic while Game 2 is underway, we have simulated this matchup as well. Now, you can drive home from work listening to Mike Francesa already knowing the outcome of the game. Here goes:

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Dodgers 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 3 10 0
Phillies 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 4 11 0

Phillies lead series 2-0

W – Gordon, 1 IP, 2 Hits, O Runs, 2 K
L – Proctor, 0.2 IP, 2 Hits, 1 Run, 1 ER, 2 K

HR: None

Dodgers
Blake: 3-4, 1 Run, 2 RBI
Loney: 3-4, 1 Run
Ramirez: 0-3, 1 BB

Phillies
Howard: 2-4, 1 Run, 1 RBI, 2 K
Victorino 2-5, 1 Run, 1 RBI, 1 K
Werth: 2-3, 1 RBI, 1 BB

Both teams got strong performances out of their starters (Billingsley and Myers). But in the end, it was Torre using Proctor on back-to-back days (again) that cost the Dodgers.

NLCS Game 1, PS3 Style

9 Oct

theshow.jpgOk, guys. You may not realize it right now, but you’re not going to be able to watch Game 1 of the NLCS tonight. Sorry, your girl is going to make you watch Grey’s Anatomy instead. Stop denying you wear the pants and just watch the average looking girls overact for an hour.

Luckily for you, The Max already loaded the lineups into our PS3 and simulated the results. Here’s how tonight’s game is going to go down:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Dodgers 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3  6  1
Phillies 3 0 0 0 4 5 2 0 X 14  12  0

 

W – Hamels, 6 IP, 4 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 4 BB, 8 K
L – Lowe, 4.2 IP, 6 H, 7 R, 7 ER, 1 BB
S – Madson, 3 IP, 2 H, 0 R, O ER, 0 BB, 1 K

HR: Rollins 2, Howard, Burrell, Ethier

Dodgers
M. Ramirez: 1-3, Run, BB
Ethier: 1-4, Run, 3 RBI, HR
Furcal: 0-5

Phillies
Rollins: 2-3, 3 Runs, 3 RBI, 2 HR
Utley: 3-4, 2 Runs, 4 RBI, Double
Howard: 2-5, 3 Runs, 3 RBI, HR, Double
Burrell: 2-5, 1 Run, 4 RBI, HR, Double

testmax.jpg

So there you have it. The computer overlooked Burrell’s huge game at the plate and gave player of the game honors to Rollins. Enjoy watching your girl drool over McDreamy.