Archive | November, 2008

The biggest Internet contest in history (of The Max)

3 Nov

ocho.jpgFirst Chad Johnson changes his name to Chad Ocho Cinco. Good idea, by the way (sarcasm). Then some loser in England named George Garratt goes and changes his handle to, and we’re not joking, Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined.

Oh, man! At first, we were bummed that this kid would change his name to such a nose-pickingly dorky name. But after thinking about it some more, we’re even more upset that the poor kid will now never know what it’s like to be with a woman. Way to go!

After thinking about the two idiotic name changes above, The Max started to brainstorm names that would have been better ideas than Ocho Cinco and that Captain Dorko dude. We came up with approximately 100 names in less than one minute. Pretty much, anything would be better than those ridiculous names. But we did find one name that everybody agreed would be a home run: The Max! That’s right, first name “The” last name “Max.”

With that, The Max is starting the biggest contest in the history of the Internet… well, the biggest contest in the history of Internet sites called TheMax.YESNetwork.com. We are offering the large sum of $100, as well as a Jack Maxwell signed baseball to any reader who changes his (or her) name to The Max. First name: The. Last name: Max.

For those of you that do participate in the contest, simply e-mail us to let us know: themax_blog@ymail.com.

It should also be noted that any readers changing their names to Joe Momma will get $10 and a Jack Maxwell signed sticky note. We’re just throwing it out there as an option.

Fun With Numbers

3 Nov

As we do every Monday, The Max offers an in-depth look at the most important numbers of the past week in sports and entertainment. Take a look:


funwithnumb.jpg

Past editions of Fun With Numbers:

Steelers settle for fifth choice long snapper

1 Nov

Looks like the Pittsburgh Steelers have hired Jared
Retkofsky
, a guy who used to lift sofas for a living, as their new long snapper following an
incident against the Giants last week where fill-in snapper James Harrison launched a snap so far over the punter’s head that the ball may still be
in orbit.

What people don’t know, and maybe even something Retkofsky doesn’t know, is that he was actually the Steelers’ fifth choice for the job. The other potential candidates for the position had various reasons for declining — the strangest being the inability to work because he was on the lam for theft.

In addition to the professional burglar, a mayor, a cop and a clown were all offered the job before Jared the Mover. It sounds confusing, we know, so we made a diagram to clear it all up:

steelerstimeline.jpg
Representatives from McDonaldland, where Mayor McCheese, Officer Big Mac, the Hamburglar and Ronald McDonald all reside, have not returned calls or emails from The Max.

However, Grimace did have this to say:

grimace3.jpg

C’mon…email us: themax_blog@ymail.com

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