Tag Archives: New York Knicks

Building Mount Dumpmore

26 Feb

dumpmore.jpgIf you’re anything like us, you’re pretty sick and tired of ESPN promoting their silly Mt. Rushmore of Sports campaign. Not only are they forcing us to watch the debacle on TV, but now they’re doing separate, considerably smaller promotions online. Does anybody really care if Dave Niehaus is on the Seattle Mariners Mount Rushmore?

To combat ESPN’s silly promotion, The Max has decided to sculpt their own mountains. But unlike ESPN, we’re not going to sit here and wax poetic on stats or who was the greatest. Instead, we’re building New York’s Mount Dumpmore. As you would expect, Mount Dumpmore honors the absolute worst in each New York sport (or at least the New York sports that count. Sorry NHL).

New York Yankees: Carl Pavano, Hideki Irabu, Jaret Wright, Roger Clemensdumpmoreyankees.jpgNotice how they are all pitchers? Not such a great track records there, huh? Anyway, it pains us that we couldn’t fit Steve Sax or Brien Taylor in there. We really tried, though. These other guys were just too horrible to leave off the list, especially Pavano and his giant contract.

New York Mets: Willie Mays, Mo Vaughn, Vince Coleman, Bobby Bonilla
metsdump.jpgLike Steve Sax, we did everything we could to get Roberto Alomar on Mount Dumpmore. But with his recent woes, we figured we would go easy on him. And yes, we know that associating Willie Mays with any sort of dump is sac-relig. But let’s face facts, he stunk as a Met.

Here’s our Dumpmores for the other New York sports. Like ESPN, we’re gonna wimp out and do them strictly as text. But there is no excuse for ESPN doing this, as they have about 2,000 times the resources The Max does.

New York Knicks: Isiah Thomas, Stephon Marbury, Antonio McDysse, Travis Knight
Fast forward six months, and we’ll have our Boston edition of Mount Dumpore, featuring Stephon Marbury in a Celtics uni.

New York Jets: Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite
No, that’s not a typo. We’d put him up a fifth time if possible. 

New York Giants: Ray Handley, Tyrone Wheatley, Ron Dayne, Dave Brown
Ray Handley should thank his lucky stars that Rich Kotite coached the Jets. Otherwise, he would probably take the crown for worst New York football coach ever.

Hughes, Wilcox coming to New York

19 Feb

hugcox.jpgBoth Larry Hughes and Chris Wilcox have been traded to the New York Knicks. As a result of the timing of the deal, the above-average ballers will now forever be linked… much like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (Brangelina) or Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner/Lopez (Bennifer).

In the vein of these vogue celebrity names, what do you think Hughes and Wilcox’s name would be? We actually know the answer, but are too classy to tell you here. But if you go to USAToday.com and enter their last names into their generator (Hughes first), it should give you a good idea. Here’s the link.

Want free promotion for your blog or website?

17 Feb
Getting free promotion is simple when you come to The Max. You just gotta play an easy word association game with us. If yours are clever enough to make the varsity team, we’ll give you, your company or your website a shout-out just for playing. Be creative. Be funny. Be PG. 
  • Your name
  • Your occupation, blog or website 
  • Two PG-rated photos 
  • A few word associations
Need a better idea of what we’re looking for? Lucky for you, one of The Max’s head button pushers, Zack Zeigler, was kind enough to play the first round as an example.

LeBron James

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Stephon Marbury

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John Cena

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Michael Phelps

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Brett Favre

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Detroit Lions

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Randy Jackson

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Michael Vick

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Whos the worst of the worst?

19 Jan

cavs23mvp.jpgThe normally egotistical Kobe Bryant recently stated that he thinks LeBron James is the NBA MVP so far this season. A couple things come to mind immediately:

1. Duh.

2. We obviously agree; but more importantly, we want to know who would be crowned the NBA’s anti-Lebron James. If Lebron is THE best of the best, who is the worst of the worst? We know the LVP (Least Valuable Player) award has never been actually handed out. But that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be. Luckily, The Max is here to formally award the crown of LVP to one very deserving NBA “star.” But before we do that, here are some of the runners-up:

  • Eddy Curry (NY Knicks): Despite clocking only three minutes of playing time this season, Chubs is cashing a check worth more than $9.5 million. We’re not so good with the math, but we do know that’s a lot of coin per minute. Have a salad, by the way.
  • Jerome James (NY Knicks): $6.2 million this year to play in two games… that’s it, two games. Adding to his uselessness, James reportedly suffered some sort of girly injury on Sunday that will keep him out for the rest of the season. Not for nothin’, but wasn’t he out for the rest of the season anyway?
  • Danilo Gallinari (NY Knicks): Who thought drafting this piason 6th overall was a good idea? If you’re keeping score at home, he’s getting more than $2.8 million this season and he’s only played three games.

Are you seeing a pattern here? Yes, they are all members of the Knicks. And no, we are not being biased. Taking everything into account, the above three names are legitimately three of the least valuable players in the NBA.

But there can only be one LVP. And the winner is:

lvp.jpgOnly in America can you get paid more than $28 million to do absolutely nothing. Congrats, Steph.

What to look for in 2009

29 Dec

Like Nostradamus, The Max likes to have a little fun by predicting the future. Unlike Nostradamus, however, we think our predictions actually have a solid chance at becoming a reality. Here’s what The Max wants you to look out for in 2009:

After the Tampa Bay Rays finish April in 3rd place in the AL East, nearly every sports writer in America will use the term “hangover” to describe their lackluster play.

John Daly will eat more fried chicken than the Colonel ever intended one man to ever eat. Expect a couple arrests, too.

trhat.jpgTony Romo will continue to wear that ridiculous looking hat. But that’s not the hook – Jessica Simpson will finally see him wearing the hat during a post-game press conference and promptly kick him to the curb (it’s about time).

Terrell Owens will also continue to wear that same hat, but look good while doing it. Editor’s note: Give it up, Tony. Neither the hat, nor the girl, make you look even remotely cool.

Look for the Mets’ closer controversy to start early. After K-Rod blows a few saves in April, Mets fans will begin begging for J.J. Putz to start closing games.

This web site will continually prove its immaturity by making 36 ridiculously bad J.J. Putz name jokes by the All-Star break.

Aaron Heilman will finally get a chance to become a starting pitcher. Unfortunately for the Mariners, though, the fact that he only has two pitches will continue to plague him. Just like in New York, look for Aaron “The Crybaby” Heilman to end up in the bullpen by year’s end.

Brett Favre will retire.

One of the Spears girls will become pregnant… again. Odds are it will be Jamie Lynn, but don’t count out Britney or mother Lynne.

Brett Favre will unretire.

In an attempt to clear cap room, the New York Knicks will trade David Lee, Nate Robinson, Chris Duhon and anybody else with a glimmer of talent. Fast forward to 2010, LeBron will end up in New Jersey.

Jealous men everywhere (us included) will continue to make fun of Tom Brady, even though the truth is he is probably the raddest dude to ever walk planet earth.

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College football will continue to miss the boat by not implementing a true playoff system.

People will continue to watch college football, despite the fact that there is not a true playoff system.

Tracy Morgan will finally be recognized as the funniest man alive.

O.J. Simpson will rot in jail (better late than never).

Will Ferrell will make yet another average movie about some fringe sport. Our guess is badmitton, but you never know with him. Anything would be better than Blades of Glory.

Greg Oden will be diagnosed with the same thing Brad Pitt’s character had in that Benjamin Button movie. Damn, that kid looks old. 


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The XFL 2.0 will attempt fill the void left behind by the vacationing Arena Football League. Unfortunately for Vince McMahon, however, his second attempt at putting together a legitimate football league will resemble his attempt to bring pro wrestling back to prominence. The Boogeyman? Really?

Despite Jerry Jones’ claims, Wade Phillips will join Eric Mangini, Romeo Crennel and Rod Marinelli in the NFL unemployment line. Speaking of the Cowboys, we think we find this guy entertaining, but we’re not sure yet. Let us know.

Brett Favre will retire.

There you have it – The Max’s best guess at what will happen in 2009. What do you think? Do you have a prediction? If so, leave it below; we’d love to read it.

 

Tirico Suave: Eddy Curry is not thin

18 Dec

TiricoSuave.com posted this a while ago. But seeing as Eddy “Kamala” Curry is not getting any thinner, coupled with the success of our Mike Tyson post and the fact that we laughed out loud when we saw this photo, we decided to share it with you. Check out TiricoSuave.com’s other amusing photos here.

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Here are some more porkers. It wasn’t until just now that we realized our obsession with fat athletes.

Man, 73, scores in college hoops game

6 Nov

mink.jpgA 73-year-old full-time student from Knoxville, Tenn. netted two points in a college junior varsity game on Monday, the AP reported (see story below). 

The man, Ken Mink, last played in a college game 52 years ago before joining the Roane State Community College squad this season. 

Following the game, Mink had plenty to say about his accomplishment, but skirted around two questions:
1) Did you used to play with peach baskets for hoops?
2) Have the Knicks contacted you to replace Stephon Marbury yet?
Below is the actual story. See, The Max doesn’t exaggerate everything (except all other photos or information that gets posted).

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