If you’re anything like us, you’re pretty sick and tired of ESPN promoting their silly Mt. Rushmore of Sports campaign. Not only are they forcing us to watch the debacle on TV, but now they’re doing separate, considerably smaller promotions online. Does anybody really care if Dave Niehaus is on the Seattle Mariners Mount Rushmore?
To combat ESPN’s silly promotion, The Max has decided to sculpt their own mountains. But unlike ESPN, we’re not going to sit here and wax poetic on stats or who was the greatest. Instead, we’re building New York’s Mount Dumpmore. As you would expect, Mount Dumpmore honors the absolute worst in each New York sport (or at least the New York sports that count. Sorry NHL).
New York Yankees: Carl Pavano, Hideki Irabu, Jaret Wright, Roger ClemensNotice how they are all pitchers? Not such a great track records there, huh? Anyway, it pains us that we couldn’t fit Steve Sax or Brien Taylor in there. We really tried, though. These other guys were just too horrible to leave off the list, especially Pavano and his giant contract.
New York Mets: Willie Mays, Mo Vaughn, Vince Coleman, Bobby Bonilla
Like Steve Sax, we did everything we could to get Roberto Alomar on Mount Dumpmore. But with his recent woes, we figured we would go easy on him. And yes, we know that associating Willie Mays with any sort of dump is sac-relig. But let’s face facts, he stunk as a Met.
Here’s our Dumpmores for the other New York sports. Like ESPN, we’re gonna wimp out and do them strictly as text. But there is no excuse for ESPN doing this, as they have about 2,000 times the resources The Max does.
New York Knicks: Isiah Thomas, Stephon Marbury, Antonio McDysse, Travis Knight
Fast forward six months, and we’ll have our Boston edition of Mount Dumpore, featuring Stephon Marbury in a Celtics uni.
New York Jets: Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite
No, that’s not a typo. We’d put him up a fifth time if possible.
New York Giants: Ray Handley, Tyrone Wheatley, Ron Dayne, Dave Brown
Ray Handley should thank his lucky stars that Rich Kotite coached the Jets. Otherwise, he would probably take the crown for worst New York football coach ever.