Tag Archives: ESPN

Building Mount Dumpmore

26 Feb

dumpmore.jpgIf you’re anything like us, you’re pretty sick and tired of ESPN promoting their silly Mt. Rushmore of Sports campaign. Not only are they forcing us to watch the debacle on TV, but now they’re doing separate, considerably smaller promotions online. Does anybody really care if Dave Niehaus is on the Seattle Mariners Mount Rushmore?

To combat ESPN’s silly promotion, The Max has decided to sculpt their own mountains. But unlike ESPN, we’re not going to sit here and wax poetic on stats or who was the greatest. Instead, we’re building New York’s Mount Dumpmore. As you would expect, Mount Dumpmore honors the absolute worst in each New York sport (or at least the New York sports that count. Sorry NHL).

New York Yankees: Carl Pavano, Hideki Irabu, Jaret Wright, Roger Clemensdumpmoreyankees.jpgNotice how they are all pitchers? Not such a great track records there, huh? Anyway, it pains us that we couldn’t fit Steve Sax or Brien Taylor in there. We really tried, though. These other guys were just too horrible to leave off the list, especially Pavano and his giant contract.

New York Mets: Willie Mays, Mo Vaughn, Vince Coleman, Bobby Bonilla
metsdump.jpgLike Steve Sax, we did everything we could to get Roberto Alomar on Mount Dumpmore. But with his recent woes, we figured we would go easy on him. And yes, we know that associating Willie Mays with any sort of dump is sac-relig. But let’s face facts, he stunk as a Met.

Here’s our Dumpmores for the other New York sports. Like ESPN, we’re gonna wimp out and do them strictly as text. But there is no excuse for ESPN doing this, as they have about 2,000 times the resources The Max does.

New York Knicks: Isiah Thomas, Stephon Marbury, Antonio McDysse, Travis Knight
Fast forward six months, and we’ll have our Boston edition of Mount Dumpore, featuring Stephon Marbury in a Celtics uni.

New York Jets: Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite, Rich Kotite
No, that’s not a typo. We’d put him up a fifth time if possible. 

New York Giants: Ray Handley, Tyrone Wheatley, Ron Dayne, Dave Brown
Ray Handley should thank his lucky stars that Rich Kotite coached the Jets. Otherwise, he would probably take the crown for worst New York football coach ever.

Which Big League Chew flavor should The Max endorse?

11 Feb

We’re getting out the vote. Well, we’re actually seeking YOUR votes, so pitch in and let us know which Big League Chew flavor you stand behind. Vote in the poll below and leave a comment to let us know why you chose a certain flavor.

originalchew.jpgThe Original. Never in gum-chewing history has there been a product that made kids feel as if chewing tobacco would taste so good. Of course, when those same kids actually graduated to munching on tobacco products they either barfed or got incredibly faint, which rendered them useless on the playing field. Shoulda stuck with some BLC gum, dudes.

grapchew.jpgGrape. The taste is sweet, like if you dumped six pounds of sugar and added a hint of grape onto the shreds of Chew. We’re not huge fans of the color purple (not the movie, of course) because everyone at The Max despises the Vikings, but we won’t hold that against grape.

strawberrychew.jpgStrawberry. It’s strawberry-delicious. At least that’s what one test subject said when asked how he enjoyed his sample of strawberry BLC. In fact, he enjoyed it so much that he kicked The Max’s own Jeff Maxwell in the groin, snatched the entire pouch and ran off. Don’t believe us? It happened. Would we lie?

watermelonchew.jpgWatermelon. A nice refresher to combat our normal bad breath and the looming threat of the gum disease Gingivitis! Well, not really. Watermelon fights no disease and like all BLC, it’s loaded with sugar which doesn’t exactly help fight cavities. But watermelon did rank high in flavor and juiciness. Not gonna lie, we were upset that the seeds were removed. We love spitting them.

Which Big League Chew flavor should The Max endorse?
( polls)

Surfing the Web

14 Nov

It’s Friday, and you know what that means – stop being so productive at work and surf the web. Here are some links that might help you get started:

The Hockey Hall of Fame ceremony was held at, none other than, Steve’s place. (The Onion)

Gilbert Arenas believes in change. Don’t believe him? Shake his hand. (Intentional Foul)

The TV Sports Theme Song Quiz will have you scratching your head. (Mental Floss)

The Blazers Dancers have gotten new outfits. Truth is that we really don’t care. But the fact that they are new means that it’s news and gives us the opportunity to link to some beautiful babies, as Vince Vaughn would say in Swingers. (Blaze of Love)

NBA jerseys: There’s been some bad ones over the past 10 years. (Bad Jerseys)

YouTube Video of the Day
Ok, so it’s really from ESPN. But we can’t give up our awesome branding of “YouTube Video of the Day,” especially since its been in existence since, like, October. Thanks to the YES web guy for sending us this link.


Surfing the web

16 Oct

Well, The Max made it to another Friday. And as is quickly becoming the tradition over here, we like to offer you some witty web findings that should help you get through your day at the office. Like last week, this should eat up a few hours. How you spend the rest of your work day is up to you.

Mental Floss wants you to name all 30 NHL teams in five minutes. It’s harder than it sounds. But we were pretty proud of our 25-out-of-30 attempt, and we don’t even consider hockey a sport (well, a good one, anyway). Continue…

Speaking of Mental Floss, they list their favorite athletes that did not collect $200 when they went directly to jail. Continue…

ESPN traces the phrase “Manny being Manny” all the way back to 1995. Continue…

Deadspin features the world’s dumbest Phillies fan. Continue…

The Big Lead reviews Versus’ new show Sports Soup. The article’s length could be cut in half, but there is an opinion in there somewhere, we swear. We’re only providing you with this link because we know you didn’t see the show. Continue…

YouTube Baseball Video of the Week
Somebody finally told Mr. Met that his team is no longer playing baseball. Poor guy: