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Costner bringing Field of Dreams to life

4 Feb
As a way to give back to the community, Kevin Costner is going to combine the concept of his film “Field of Dreams” — arguably his best movie — and pair it with the non-accented character he played in “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” to build a baseball stadium in the midwest in time for the Northern League’s 2010 season.
It’s projected that once Kev builds it, about 300 jobs will come. While that’s a good thing, we can’t help but feel the real victor here is the movie industry, since Costner will hopefully be too caught up with construction of the baseball diamond to film another lousy movie.

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Costner’s garbage movies list:
  1. Swing Vote
  2. The Upside of Anger
  3. Dragonfly
  4. Waterworld*
  5. 13 Days
  6. Open Range
  7. Rumor Has It
  8. Mr. Brooks
  9. Message in a Bottle
* Denotes film is in contention for worst movie ever.

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Bonds attends BBall game with unidentified liquid

3 Feb

We saw this photo of mutant-headed Barry Bonds (with a Blagojevich-sized baseball cap on) and we caught something glaring: the unidentified liquid inside of his water bottle. Given Bonds’ current predicament and how he’s trying to get himself into the, ahem, Clear regarding his steroid allegations, we didn’t think it was a smart move to travel around with an unlabeled substance. 

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But what is the liquid? Here are some options we came up with: 
Horse urine and elf saliva – rumored to clean out the system and flush the internals of all unwanted hormones
Unsweetened iced tea, pineapple lifesavers and un-purified swamp water — supposedly devours all steroidic materials from the body

Flax seed, melted snow, dirt from the old Yankee Stadium and pretzel rods — shrinks the head to that of a prehistoric caveman. 
Got a guess? Leave a comment and let us know what you think.

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If Citi bails, what do the Mets name their ballpark?

3 Feb

Not great news for the seventeen Mets fans left on planet Earth. Seems as if Citigroup may be trying to weasel out of its deal with the “other” New York baseball team. That would leave an issue seeing as the name of the ballpark is supposed to be Citi Field.

That got us thinking about what the name would be if Citi decides to — no pun intended – bailout of the deal. 

Possible Names:

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  • Bankrupt Field
  • Advertisers Wanted Park
  • Please Buy Tix Stadium
  • Yes, the Mets Still Have a Team SportsPlex

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Verdict: Montreals retro jerseys way too loud

2 Feb

Hey Canadiens: would you mind turning down the volume on those jerseys?

Throw back or not, this misuse of materials should be sanctioned by the NHL, or at the very least, the fashion police. Where are you when we need you, E! channel? Honestly, when fans’ eyes throw up numerous times during a game, it’s time to shove those ugly jerseys into a burning barrel and forget they ever existed.

canadiansuglyj450.jpgOn a serious note, don’t these jerseys make you believe Montreal used the guy on the “Get Out of Jail Free” card from Monopoly as the inspiration?

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South Parks Towelie stands by Phelps

2 Feb

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Soon after Michael Phelps lit up the front pages of newspapers with the revelation that he’s a fan of Cheech & Chong, Towelie, the burnout character from South Park, made it clear he stands behind the gold medalist’s bad habits.

“You know, I think everybody is making too big of a deal about
this whole…wait, what was I saying? Oh man. Seriously, what was I
saying?”

Their association raised eyebrows when the towel wandered into a photo as Phelps was trying to take off for flight with his new rubber water suit on.

 
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While the relationship between Phelps and Towelie hasn’t been fully
disclosed, it has been reported that Towelie has one demand — to be
paid in ounces, not dollars.
Don’t watch South Park? Unsure of who Towelie is? Check out the YouTube clip below:
 

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Reality TV is about to get really bad

2 Feb

irvin.jpgIf you thought Britney and Kevin’s Chaotic reality show was a good idea, you’re gonna love this: It looks like not only Terrell Owens will be getting his own reality show, but so is the equally-annoying former wide receiver Michael Irvin.

Owens’ show, which will air on VH1, will follow him and his best friends and publicists as they try to re-examine his personal life. Spike TV will produce Irvin’s show, which will follow the Hall of Famer as he looks to find somebody good enough to make the Dallas Cowboys training camp roster. 
If you ask us, they both sound like perfect stinkers! It truly amazes us that people would care to follow these bums as they continue to make fools of themselves. Furthermore, we are even more confused as to why it seems like the wide receiver position is the most annoying position on the football field. Seriously, why does this position produce so many divas? If you know the answer, let us know. In the meantime, check out our list of the biggest wide receiver divas in NFL history (notice how many of them turned out to be nobodies):

10: Jerry Porter
The only guy in NFL history to root against his team. But you gotta love that he parked in Al Davis’ parking spot. Classic.

9: Deion Branch
Just put your uni on and play.

8: Javon Walker
Unfortunately for him, what happens in Vegas doesn’t necessarily stay in Vegas.

7: Chris Henry
We don’t have time to list it all. Just check it out here.

6: Randy Moss
Rumor has it the entire state of Minnesota stays off the streets any time Moss comes to town to play the Vikings. Good idea.

5: Plaxico Burress
Hey, Giants fans. Should we give Plax another shot?

4: Michael Irvin
We’re not sure what’s more prolific – his NFL stats or his rap sheet. This guy’s been arrested more times than Mike Tyson and Charles Barkley combined.

3: Keyshawn Johnson
We actually consider Keyshawn to be the “Godfather” of diva wideouts. In our eyes, it was his book, “Just Give Me the Damn Ball!,” that started this whole phenomenon in motion. So the next time, a Giants wide receiver goes and shoots himself, you’ll have Keyshawn to thank.

2: Chad Johnson
His ridiculous name change, horrible taste in sweaters and poor hair styles are just the tip of the iceberg.

1: Terrell Owens
When was the last time you did situps in your driveway while the media watched?

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