Tag Archives: Barry Bonds

The License Plate Game

6 Feb

Most celebrities usually covet their privacy. But not these superstars. Check out the vanity plates of the below athletes. They clearly have a lot on their minds (in most cases) and want you to know about it.

plate_leb.jpg
phelpslicense.jpg
platekobe.jpg
herm1.jpg
platerice.jpg
plate_brett.jpg
plate_yogi.jpg
manginiplate.jpg

platebuck.jpg
plbonds.jpg
paltejoe.jpg
Have you spotted any athletes’ vanity plates? If so, tell us what they say below.

Bonds attends BBall game with unidentified liquid

3 Feb

We saw this photo of mutant-headed Barry Bonds (with a Blagojevich-sized baseball cap on) and we caught something glaring: the unidentified liquid inside of his water bottle. Given Bonds’ current predicament and how he’s trying to get himself into the, ahem, Clear regarding his steroid allegations, we didn’t think it was a smart move to travel around with an unlabeled substance. 

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But what is the liquid? Here are some options we came up with: 
Horse urine and elf saliva – rumored to clean out the system and flush the internals of all unwanted hormones
Unsweetened iced tea, pineapple lifesavers and un-purified swamp watersupposedly devours all steroidic materials from the body

Flax seed, melted snow, dirt from the old Yankee Stadium and pretzel rods — shrinks the head to that of a prehistoric caveman. 
Got a guess? Leave a comment and let us know what you think.

Ex-teammate Bonds bids Kent strange farewell

21 Jan
HGH infested mutant ballplayer Barry Bonds offered ex-teammate Jeff Kent an odd going away gift, The Max has learned. Late this afternoon, when news broke that after 17 seasons in baseball, Kent, 40, will hang up his cleats for good, a copy of a postcard Bonds sent to his former teammate surfaced, again starting rumors that their feud isn’t as over as people once thought.
Back 2002, when both Kent and Bonds were playing for the Giants, a rift between the two went public following this dugout incident:
kentbondsfight.jpg
Kent ended up leaving the Giants, as the dugout wasn’t big enough for both of their egos and Bonds’ ever-growing steroid head. Then, after a time, it was said that the two sluggers hugged it out and were at the very least on “OK terms” with one another.
After obtaining a copy of the postcard, which is featured below, we’re not so sure the feud is as over as everyone would like to believe…
bondskentpostcard.jpg

Can these people just go away?

2 Dec

Plaxico Burress has been
everywhere lately – the TV, the newspapers, blogs, in my nightmares. And, actually, it’s not just lately, it’s
been all season. From Plax’s disregard for Giants’ team policy to
fines, suspension and finally popping a cap into his own thigh; well, we’ve
finally had enough of this guy. Granted, Burress’ bonehead moves provide
us with material on a weekly basis, but we just can’t take it any longer. The guy needs to go away.

We understand that Jared
used to be the size of a monster truck and has now shrunk to that of a Mini
Cooper. For downgrading from pants that could blanket a small village, we
commend him.

Dude, you’re insane on the court. No doubt about that. But Chuck Barkley’s right, you need to shut the hell up about your plans for 2010. Just keep scoring at will and do something we have never seen in a game like a 720 dunk from the three-point line, but please keep your yap shut about the future.

Many times, the gossip
focuses on the enormously popular and heavily political Triple H, husband to
WWE Princess Stephanie McMahon. Since inserting himself into the royal family
of pro wrestling in 2003, Mr. H has been criticized by dirt sheet “journalists” about the perks he receives from being married to WWE Chairman Vince McMahon’s
daughter. 

She’s crazy.
She’s pregnant. She’s getting divorced. She’s pregnant again. She’s shaving her head! She looks loopy on stage performing one of her formulaic pop musical ditties at some lame awards show. She’s admitted to a problem. She’s finding her inner self. She’s releasing a new record. She needs more money!

Whether or not Brit is
locked up in the loony bin doesn’t stop us from watching sports, but she still needs to take a hike. We’re asking from the bottom of our black heart’s to please keep her off of our television sets unless it’s the replay of the “Baby One
More Time.” 

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Chad Johnson or Chad Ocho Cinco

Chad: Play football. Score
touchdowns. Do your dances. Win championships, then talk as much as you want. But
you’re a Bengal, and that’s in the cat family, which associates you
the Lions. That means no talking.

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Shaq & Kobe

Shaq and Kobe don’t play on the same team anymore, and haven’t for a few years now. The bottom line is that the story is tired and the inability for the press to conjure up new material to draw readers back to their fledging magazines and newspapers highlights exactly why certain publications will be going the way of the banking and auto industries sooner rather than later.

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Barry Bonds

Whether or not Bonds will join the ranks of baseball’s elite is yet to be determined, and if he does, then a whole new crop of arguments can surface (or the same ones repackaged). Now it’s up to the league and those who make those types of choices to decide, so hopefully the rest of us can move on and find someone else to devote our time too. Stories about Bonds are all old hat, and since that hat belongs to Bonds, it means the stories have been stretched very thin to keep pace with his ever-growing bulbous melon. 

The Lions are actually, seriously, no kidding — No. 1

25 Nov

Even with a disturbing 0-11 record, the Detroit Lions are still the No. 1…

lions.jpg

  • santa.jpgTeam that Santa will skip when cruising around distributing presents. The Clauses are big-time bettors, and the Lions have cost them dearly this year. Get ready for a big fat chunk of coal on Dec. 25, Detroit.
  • Biggest waste of Thanksgiving TV time in the history of pigskin.
  • Team where most players lie about their job. It’s widely known that around the Motor City the guys on the squad say they are lion tamers, not Lions players.
  • Owners of the dirtiest uniforms in the game. (Think about it — 11 sets of cleat marks have trampled their jerseys. That’s a lot of Shout.)
  • Reason the XFL is pushing for a comeback. “They’re just as lousy as we ever was,” cited former XFL star Otis “Hit Squad” Floyd.

What else are the Lions No. 1 at? Leave a comment or Email us: themax_blog@ymail.com

Surfing the web

20 Nov

Wow, that was close. You almost did some work while at the office today, didn’t you? Well, have no fear, The Max is here! Below are some moderately amusing links that should help occupy your Friday.

Page 2 wants to know if you’re as good a guy (or girl) as the painfully-moral golfer J.P.Hayes.

Big League Stew has found the guy with the biggest man-crush on Barry Bonds.

Cheerleaders: As always, you can count on SI.com to bring you images of your favorite leaders of the cheer. This time, it’s Tampa’s best.

Tirico Suave would like to congratulate Dustin Pedroia on winning the AL MVP.

The Model: Ever wonder where Rick “The Model” Martel ended up? Well, here’s your answer.

Shutdown Corner explains Deion Sanders’ lack of fashion perfectly.

YouTube Video of the Day
Everybody else is linking to this video, so why shouldn’t we? It’s the basketball dribbling 5-year-old.