Tag Archives: Cleveland Cavaliers

Can these people just go away?

2 Dec

Plaxico Burress has been
everywhere lately – the TV, the newspapers, blogs, in my nightmares. And, actually, it’s not just lately, it’s
been all season. From Plax’s disregard for Giants’ team policy to
fines, suspension and finally popping a cap into his own thigh; well, we’ve
finally had enough of this guy. Granted, Burress’ bonehead moves provide
us with material on a weekly basis, but we just can’t take it any longer. The guy needs to go away.

We understand that Jared
used to be the size of a monster truck and has now shrunk to that of a Mini
Cooper. For downgrading from pants that could blanket a small village, we
commend him.

Dude, you’re insane on the court. No doubt about that. But Chuck Barkley’s right, you need to shut the hell up about your plans for 2010. Just keep scoring at will and do something we have never seen in a game like a 720 dunk from the three-point line, but please keep your yap shut about the future.

Many times, the gossip
focuses on the enormously popular and heavily political Triple H, husband to
WWE Princess Stephanie McMahon. Since inserting himself into the royal family
of pro wrestling in 2003, Mr. H has been criticized by dirt sheet “journalists” about the perks he receives from being married to WWE Chairman Vince McMahon’s

She’s crazy.
She’s pregnant. She’s getting divorced. She’s pregnant again. She’s shaving her head! She looks loopy on stage performing one of her formulaic pop musical ditties at some lame awards show. She’s admitted to a problem. She’s finding her inner self. She’s releasing a new record. She needs more money!

Whether or not Brit is
locked up in the loony bin doesn’t stop us from watching sports, but she still needs to take a hike. We’re asking from the bottom of our black heart’s to please keep her off of our television sets unless it’s the replay of the “Baby One
More Time.” 


Chad Johnson or Chad Ocho Cinco

Chad: Play football. Score
touchdowns. Do your dances. Win championships, then talk as much as you want. But
you’re a Bengal, and that’s in the cat family, which associates you
the Lions. That means no talking.


Shaq & Kobe

Shaq and Kobe don’t play on the same team anymore, and haven’t for a few years now. The bottom line is that the story is tired and the inability for the press to conjure up new material to draw readers back to their fledging magazines and newspapers highlights exactly why certain publications will be going the way of the banking and auto industries sooner rather than later.


Barry Bonds

Whether or not Bonds will join the ranks of baseball’s elite is yet to be determined, and if he does, then a whole new crop of arguments can surface (or the same ones repackaged). Now it’s up to the league and those who make those types of choices to decide, so hopefully the rest of us can move on and find someone else to devote our time too. Stories about Bonds are all old hat, and since that hat belongs to Bonds, it means the stories have been stretched very thin to keep pace with his ever-growing bulbous melon. 

Hey, Mike. The WNBA called; they want their glasses back!

29 Oct

Since the inception of this site, Max employees have been required to watch all season openers together (with the exception of the NHL). Last night, we thought we were going to settle in for the kickoff to the 2008 NBA season; but after seeing Cavs coach Mike Brown on his team’s bench, we thought we were watching the WNBA opener. What’s with those glasses?


Looks like he went a little crazy with his Bedazzler. Yeah, those things glisten. And no, we don’t have a better camera to take a closer photo. But if you do, please send it along (the camera, that is). Here’s the best we could do:


Our only guess is that he may have lost a bet that requires him to wear girls’ glasses. Either that or he’s auditioning for a job with the Cleveland Rockers (somebody should tell him they folded). For those of you who don’t know, which is probably all of you, the Rockers were a WNBA team. For those of you who don’t know, which is probably all of you, the WNBA is a women’s “basketball” league. They have uniforms and everything.

On a completely unrelated note, did anybody see the Binder & Binder commercial on last night’s telecast? Here’s a pic:


This guy’s a lawyer looking for your business. Hey, Chuck. This is New York City, not Austin, Texas. Don’t you see the big building behind you? Anyway, if we run into any legal problems while trying to secure the lost ark or crystal skull or whatever the heck it is that Indiana Jones looks for when not teaching class, then we’ll call you up. Otherwise, lose the hat!