Tag Archives: Jose Canseco

Canseco seeks 15 more minutes

11 Feb

josetv.jpgWhen will Jose Canseco finally go away? According to the New York Post’s Page Six, the embattled slugger, apparently in search of 15 more minutes of fame, is pitching a reality television series to network execs. While we’re not sure what the concept of the show will be, we are pretty sure that we would rather watch paint dry. Even worse, we would rather watch these shows than a Jose Canseco reality TV program:

  • Dawson’s Creek
  • Small Wonder
  • The Oprah Winfrey Show
  • Any XFL game
  • Knight Rider (the new one)
  • My Mother the Car
  • Roseanne (even after she wins the lottery)
  • A Very Brady Christmas

If you had the choice to watch one of the below shows, which would it be?
( surveys)

Palin the problem? McCain shouldve looked to the athletic world for VP

4 Nov

Now that the election is over and the country has chosen Obama to move into the White House, it’s time to play some Monday Morning Quarterback with the 2008 election. In looking at the Xs and Os of the republican campaign, some say that selecting Sarah Palin may have been John McCain’s biggest flaw.

With that, The Max looks at some personalities from the athletic world that McCain may have been better off choosing:

mac_pa.jpgJOE PATERNO
At 97 years old (or something like that), selecting Penn State football coach Joe Paterno certainly doesn’t seem like the logical choice. But if you prop him up next to the presidential hopeful, he would definitely help make Old Man McCain look like a kid again. Let’s face it, McCain’s no spring chicken. But next to Joe Pa, even Moses would look young. Plus, we would be very interested in hearing Paterno’s stance on social security reform, seeing as he has been collecting since Herbert Hoover was in office.


Clearly, McCain thought he could gain all the Hillary Clinton supporters by naming Sarah Palin as his running mate. But he failed to recognize that she was more like somebody America wanted to hook up with, not vote for. Plus, she didn’t really possess much toughness, despite all of her efforts to prove people otherwise.

With Chyna, though, McCain would’ve gotten the female vote, while never having had to worry about people wanting to hook up with her (we’re getting sick just thinking about it). And he’d have a lady in his corner that could kick some butt, if needed. McCain’s only concern might be seeing the self-proclaimed Ninth Wonder of the World leave the White House to go star in some ridiculously-bad VH1 reality show with Vanilla Ice and Danny Bonaduce.


In all honesty (not really), we found this sign while rummaging through the garbage outside McCain’s Arizona mansion. We’re not 100 percent sure, but we can only assume it means that somebody named Manuel was in the running to be McCain’s partner in crime. We’re guessing it was Charlie Manuel. For the record, The Max would’ve fully endorsed this pick (anything to get Manuel out of a baseball uniform and into a suit works for us. Does he get poured into that thing before games?).

Come to think of it, the Manuel name could have also referred to Jerry Manuel. That would’ve been “gangsta,” as the Mets manager likes to say.


mac_can.jpgJOSE CANSECO
On the surface, Jose Canseco doesn’t sound like an ideal running mate. But just because he’s a complete whacko doesn’t mean he’s not capable of making a few good decisions. Just think about how tough he would be in the war on drugs.

Actually, scratch that. We want no part of the tell-all book he would pen about American politics after he left office. Hey, Jose. We know that there are some shady things going on in Washington. But that doesn’t mean we want to hear about them. Ignorance is bliss.


mac_steph.jpgSTEPHON MARBURY
Hey, he’s not doing anything else.

You should be sorry

22 Oct

juiced.jpgIt looks like Jose Canseco’s latest 15 minutes of fame ran out and now he’s looking for more by claiming he’s sorry he wrote his tell-all book. Well, he should be sorry. But not about writing the book. The overgrown weirdo should be apologizing for the below idiotic indiscretions:






Wearing women’s intimates

Thinking this photo shoot was a good idea


Getting arrested for wearing a sleeveless V-neck


His sad attempt at a real mustache


Thinking he was tough (aka: getting knocked out by Vai Sikahema)


The List: 15 Funniest baseball cards ever

7 Oct

Remember when baseball card collecting was fun? You know, back when there was only Topps, Donruss and Fleer? Those were the days.

Nowadays, it’s impossible to keep up with all the different lines of cards each company outputs. I stopped paying attention when I saw a pack of Upper Deck Premium Gold Ultra Niner going for $15 (and there was only three cards in there). What a ripoff.

Anyway, enough about our issues with the baseball card industry.Check out these hilarious cards from the glory days of collecting:

armstrong.jpg#15. Mike Armstrong: After failing to make it as a big league pitcher, Armstrong tried his hand in acting. His biggest role saw him star as Milton in Office Space. “Have you seen my stapler?”

craig.jpg#14. Rodney Craig: To the best of our knowledge, this guy never made it big in the bigs. Now we’re not accusing anybody of anything, but perhaps some more strict drug testing would’ve helped ol’ Rod.

Bereguer.jpg#13. Juan Berenguer: Looks like Juan finally found the guy who stole his burrito and now he’s gonna slam the ball between his eyes.

johnstone.jpg#12. Jay Johnstone: The top-notch editorial staff here at The Max really struggled with putting Johnstone on this list. From where we sit, he simply tries too hard to be funny. When that happens, you’re a lot less amusing (our content notwithstanding).

moon.jpg#11. Wally Moon: Couldn’t he just take a quick swipe around his eyebrow region while doing his morning shave?

mo.jpg#10. Mariano Rivera: The world’s greatest closer looks dressed to impress and ready to do some serious clubbing (We’ll probably get a call from YESNetwork.com’s web guy giving us a hard time for this one).

law.jpg#9. Rudy Law: For the life of us, we can’t figure out why Rudy Law is so mad. It’s probably those hideous uniforms.

conseco.jpg#8. Jose Canseco: You gotta love the mustache that Jose has been growing since the seventh grade.

candelaria.jpg#7. John Candelaria: See Jose Canseco.

leyland.jpg#6. Jim Leyland: To the best of our knowledge, this is the only documented photo of Jim Leyland smiling. It’s probably because he’s is wearing a small building on the top of his head disguised as a hat.

rickey.jpg#5. Rickey Henderson: Just what every young kid needs: a photo of Rickey taking a lead in his underwear. Who thought this was a good idea?

pacella.jpg#4. John Pacella: Everybody knows the Mets went through some tough times in the early 1980s, but did Pacella really need to throw his hat down in disgust? Have some class!

sosa.jpg#3. Sammy Sosa: Sammy’s looking mighty happy for a guy who just stuck his finger in a light socket.

ripken.jpg#2. Billy Ripken: We’re a family web site, so we won’t tell you what it says on the bottom of his bat. But those who are already in the know understand this card’s greatness.

gamble.jpg#1. Oscar Gamble: This card is great on so many levels. Obviously, his hair takes the cake. But how about that ridiculous Photoshop (or whatever they used back then) job on his hat and that horrible play on words in the headline?