Tag Archives: Stephon Marbury

What to do with that Stephon Marbury Fathead wall decal…

25 Feb

stephmarbury022409.jpgSomeone we know bought a Stephon Marbury Fathead wall decal after Starbury got traded to the Knicks. Yep, we’re serious. We’re willing to bet the same dude probably forked over loot for a Snuggie, a Garden City Griller and the OxiClean, too. 

So now that Farcebury is out of New York, our buddy asked us: “What do I do with my Fathead”
Here’s a few  solutions we came up with:
  1. handlebar2.jpgColor over Steph’s face with permanent marker and give him a “petit handlebar” mustache (as seen here)
  2. Use it as a huge dartboard
  3. Burn it in effigy in the driveway and e-mail us a photo
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Your turn. What do you think he should do with his Marbury Fathead?

Want free promotion for your blog or website?

17 Feb
Getting free promotion is simple when you come to The Max. You just gotta play an easy word association game with us. If yours are clever enough to make the varsity team, we’ll give you, your company or your website a shout-out just for playing. Be creative. Be funny. Be PG. 
  • Your name
  • Your occupation, blog or website 
  • Two PG-rated photos 
  • A few word associations
Need a better idea of what we’re looking for? Lucky for you, one of The Max’s head button pushers, Zack Zeigler, was kind enough to play the first round as an example.

LeBron James

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Stephon Marbury

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John Cena

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Michael Phelps

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Brett Favre

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Detroit Lions

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Randy Jackson

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Michael Vick

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Whos the worst of the worst?

19 Jan

cavs23mvp.jpgThe normally egotistical Kobe Bryant recently stated that he thinks LeBron James is the NBA MVP so far this season. A couple things come to mind immediately:

1. Duh.

2. We obviously agree; but more importantly, we want to know who would be crowned the NBA’s anti-Lebron James. If Lebron is THE best of the best, who is the worst of the worst? We know the LVP (Least Valuable Player) award has never been actually handed out. But that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be. Luckily, The Max is here to formally award the crown of LVP to one very deserving NBA “star.” But before we do that, here are some of the runners-up:

  • Eddy Curry (NY Knicks): Despite clocking only three minutes of playing time this season, Chubs is cashing a check worth more than $9.5 million. We’re not so good with the math, but we do know that’s a lot of coin per minute. Have a salad, by the way.
  • Jerome James (NY Knicks): $6.2 million this year to play in two games… that’s it, two games. Adding to his uselessness, James reportedly suffered some sort of girly injury on Sunday that will keep him out for the rest of the season. Not for nothin’, but wasn’t he out for the rest of the season anyway?
  • Danilo Gallinari (NY Knicks): Who thought drafting this piason 6th overall was a good idea? If you’re keeping score at home, he’s getting more than $2.8 million this season and he’s only played three games.

Are you seeing a pattern here? Yes, they are all members of the Knicks. And no, we are not being biased. Taking everything into account, the above three names are legitimately three of the least valuable players in the NBA.

But there can only be one LVP. And the winner is:

lvp.jpgOnly in America can you get paid more than $28 million to do absolutely nothing. Congrats, Steph.

Outstaying their welcome…

4 Jan
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With President Bush’s tenure in the White House winding down to double digits, about 72 percent of Americans believe W has outstayed his welcome, according to pollingreport.com. To put it lightly, that’s not so good. However, the Prez isn’t the only one who has apparently stuck around in one spot too long…


Stephon Marbury: New York Knicks

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Marbury’s been collecting portions of his $21.9 million salary from the Knicks without even suiting up this season. Not bad for Steph, but pretty terrible for fans that actually want to see the Knicks improve. Marbury might be on his way out, but it’s clear that Steph has outstayed his welcome in the Big Apple. 
Brett FavreGreen Bay Packers and New York Jets

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After Brett Favre packed his stuff from Green Bay — including a Super Bowl ring and a slew of NFL records — and moved to NY to play for the Jets, he was panned by critics for his choice. But then, when Gang Green was doing well, he was praised. Then came the Mets-like collapse that saw the Jets miss the playoffs. Resume the panning. The latest was from running back, Thomas Jones, who verbally lambasted Favre and stated his poor play warranted benching. Ouch. Rumor has it that Favre is leaning towards retirement, but we’re a little skeptical since his retirements tend to last as long as the next guy in line:
Michael Jordan: Washington Wizards

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After a one-and-a-half year stint as the Wizards’ President of Basketball Operations (Would that be the PBO of the company?), and even opting to return to the court as a 38-year old member of the active roster, MJ was informed in a postseason meeting that his services would no longer be required on and off the court in Washington. And this was after Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf basically gave Jordan the boot by refusing to resign Phil Jackson after the Bulls won their third consecutive championship in the late ’90s. 
Steven SegalOn Deadly Ground, Under Seige 2: Dark Territory, The Glimmer Man, Exit Wounds, numerous awful action movies

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The list of awful Seagal movies would read as long as Maurice Clarette’s rap sheet. We wish he’d quit making films, god how we wish he’d quit — so he did, briefly. Seagal joined a band and tried to peddle his music to make up for the income that was nonexistent due to his imaginary acting career. That band didn’t work out, either. So he went back to films, and they’re still coming out. Keep your eyes on the Waste of Time rack at your local Blockbuster when “The Keeper,” “Ruslan,” and “Against the Dark” come out.
Dennis Rodman: L.A. Lakers and Dallas Mavericks

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Dennis Rodman was always hailed as a trouble maker — he’s the guy who would head butt referees, kick photogs in the groin and dress like RuPaul when he had an extra six hours to get into costume. 
But while playing with the Bulls, Phil Jackson, MJ, Scottie Pippen all seemed to tolerate Rodman’s antics due to his tenacity on the defensive end of the court.  Unfortunately, he didn’t have the same fate in L.A. or in Dallas. First, the Lakers signed Rodman on 2/23/99, only to waive him a few months later on 4/15/99. Then Dallas, thinking their fortunes would be different, picked up Rodman as a free agent on 2/3/00 then tossed him on 3/8/00.
Lucky for Rodman, he picked up another career in sports-entertainment. He recently won Hulk Hogan’s reality show, Celebrity Championship Wrestling, and proved he can throw phony punches with the best of ’em.


Honorable Mentions: 
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Dustin Diamond (aka Screech Powers)
Kevin “K-Fed” Federl
ine
Reality TV “Stars” — any and all of ’em

Plax moves into first place tie

30 Nov
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The Super Bowl shine has finally washed away from Plaxico Burress. But have no fear, things are starting to look up for the self-centered Giants wide receiver. Just days after shooting himself in the thigh, The Max has learned that Burress has now moved into a first place tie in the standings for New York’s Most Undeserving Athlete.

His co-leader in the standings could not be reached for comment:
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Palin the problem? McCain shouldve looked to the athletic world for VP

4 Nov

Now that the election is over and the country has chosen Obama to move into the White House, it’s time to play some Monday Morning Quarterback with the 2008 election. In looking at the Xs and Os of the republican campaign, some say that selecting Sarah Palin may have been John McCain’s biggest flaw.

With that, The Max looks at some personalities from the athletic world that McCain may have been better off choosing:

mac_pa.jpgJOE PATERNO
At 97 years old (or something like that), selecting Penn State football coach Joe Paterno certainly doesn’t seem like the logical choice. But if you prop him up next to the presidential hopeful, he would definitely help make Old Man McCain look like a kid again. Let’s face it, McCain’s no spring chicken. But next to Joe Pa, even Moses would look young. Plus, we would be very interested in hearing Paterno’s stance on social security reform, seeing as he has been collecting since Herbert Hoover was in office.

 

mac_chyna.jpgCHYNA
Clearly, McCain thought he could gain all the Hillary Clinton supporters by naming Sarah Palin as his running mate. But he failed to recognize that she was more like somebody America wanted to hook up with, not vote for. Plus, she didn’t really possess much toughness, despite all of her efforts to prove people otherwise.

With Chyna, though, McCain would’ve gotten the female vote, while never having had to worry about people wanting to hook up with her (we’re getting sick just thinking about it). And he’d have a lady in his corner that could kick some butt, if needed. McCain’s only concern might be seeing the self-proclaimed Ninth Wonder of the World leave the White House to go star in some ridiculously-bad VH1 reality show with Vanilla Ice and Danny Bonaduce.

 

mac_man.jpgCHARLIE MANUEL
In all honesty (not really), we found this sign while rummaging through the garbage outside McCain’s Arizona mansion. We’re not 100 percent sure, but we can only assume it means that somebody named Manuel was in the running to be McCain’s partner in crime. We’re guessing it was Charlie Manuel. For the record, The Max would’ve fully endorsed this pick (anything to get Manuel out of a baseball uniform and into a suit works for us. Does he get poured into that thing before games?).

Come to think of it, the Manuel name could have also referred to Jerry Manuel. That would’ve been “gangsta,” as the Mets manager likes to say.

 

mac_can.jpgJOSE CANSECO
On the surface, Jose Canseco doesn’t sound like an ideal running mate. But just because he’s a complete whacko doesn’t mean he’s not capable of making a few good decisions. Just think about how tough he would be in the war on drugs.

Actually, scratch that. We want no part of the tell-all book he would pen about American politics after he left office. Hey, Jose. We know that there are some shady things going on in Washington. But that doesn’t mean we want to hear about them. Ignorance is bliss.

 

mac_steph.jpgSTEPHON MARBURY
Hey, he’s not doing anything else.

The election is over! We have ourselves a winner…

4 Nov
The votes have been tallied and the people have spoken: The biggest waste of 19,195,312 million dollars in the long, long history of money wasting is…. 

STEPHON MARBURY
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Exit polls confirm that underachieving, lack of production and ugly tattoos all contributed to the landslide outcome for the candidate best suited for “The Biggest Money-Wasting Ballplayer in History.” Congrats, Steph.