Tag Archives: Tim McCarver

Id rather be…

24 Jan

aon.jpgBy now, you’ve probably already heard that Avery Johnson has turned down the Memphis Grizzlies head coaching job. (Who could blame him?) But what you may not know is that the former Dallas Mavericks head honcho has a list of 10 other sports-related jobs that he would rather have than the Grizzlies gig. Through a process we can’t reveal here, we were able to secure a copy of the list:

10. Eddy Curry’s limo driver
9. Kimbo Slice’s sparring partner
8. NBA drug test urine collector
7. San Diego Chicken
6. Tim McCarver’s hair stylist
5. Roger Clemens’ trainer
4. Donovan McNabb’s lawn care specialist
3. Assistant coach at The Covenant School
2. Sean Avery’s girlfriend
1. Anything with the Arena Football League (or WNBA… same thing)

5 Awful Baseball Movies

8 Oct

thescout.jpgThe Scout: In 1994’s sports “comedy” “The Scout,” Brendan Fraser, then of “Encino Man” fame, and the usually funny Albert Brooks deliver a snore fest of epic proportions.

Perhaps the only redeeming qualities the film possesses are that Frasier’s character, Steve Nebraska, plays for the Yankees and George Steinbrenner, Ozzie Smith, Steve Garvey and Tim McCarver all make cameos. Other than that, this is 101 minutes of your life you’ll never get back.
Box office gross: $2,294,234

little-big-league.jpgLittle Big League: The synopsis: Billy Heywood, a 12-year old baseball enthusiast, inherits the lousy-playing Minnesota Twins after his grandpa kicks the bucket. The outcome: A then-16 year-old boy from Dix Hills, NY (me) throws the remote control at the screen and suffers from acute boredom from watching such trash.
Box office gross: $12,267,790

hardball.jpgHardball: Keanu Reeves lugs his bad acting to the baseball diamond after his character’s gambling issues forces him to coach a corporate-sponsored group of misfits in Chicago. Of course, Revees’ character, Conor O’Neill, starts to like the gig better when hottie Diane Lane walks into the on-deck circle. Overall, Hardball is hard thing to watch.
Box office gross: $40,222,729


Fever Pitch: It wasn’t so much a fever people got while watching this movie, but more like a spell of nausea paired with a splitting headache.

Jimmy Falon left his Weekend Update anchor’s seat on Saturday Night Live to team up with Drew Barrymore in this romantic comedy that’s both predictable and unoriginal. However, if the movie were about a Yankess fan…
Box office gross: $41, 966, 965

ed.jpgEd: Some Minor League scrub team has a chimp named Ed as a mascot. Then guess what happens. Yup, Ed and his tremendous baseball skills make the squad!


Critics gave this masterpiece one out of five bananas, and I’m pretty sure the appreciation stemmed from the monkey’s acting, not Joey’s from Friends.
Box office gross
: Who cares?