Archive | February, 2009

Are you there Ashton Kutcher? Its us, The Max.

24 Feb

kidstoyskipit.jpgAnyone ever heard of the toy, Skip It? If not, please refer to the illustration to the left. It’s a fairly simple concept.

Well, Skip It was one of those items that you saw advertised on TV (in 1989) but you never knew someone who wasted their money on one. Sort of like the Pet Rock.

Anyway, we think someone (namely Ashton Kutcher from Punk’d) should buy a whole bunch of them, hire an actor to play a strength coach and then use them at a station during drills at Spring Training. According to the new coach, here’s how the Skip It will help each player: “It muscles your speed. It strengthens your agility. And it agilitizes your endurance!

With decent acting and no breaks in character from assistant coaches, you think anyone would bite and start skipping to agilitize their endurance? We think the most players on the Nationals would heavily consider it. Science tells us desperation tends to lower inhibitions.

Analogy: Kwame Brown: Franchise Player:: ?

23 Feb

Here’s what we came up with. How about you?

kwameaquabats.jpg

Braves getting physical at Spring Training

23 Feb

Nobody at The Max claims to be PinstripedBible.com’s Steven Goldman. We’re not that baseball-smart. In fact, nobody hear here at The Max claims to be smart at all. Doesn’t matter, though, because we don’t have to be a crew of Alfred Einstein’s to know that if teams like the Braves plan to win in ’09 they’ll going to need to ditch the Olivia Newton-John routine and start tossing the pill around and taking cuts with the lumber.

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Inside the mind of The Max, part 4

23 Feb

Here’s the newest set of questions that have been occupying our every
thought. Let us know if you’re thinking what we’re thinking.

  • manuelmind.jpgDon’t you think Jerry Manuel should at least get one Spring Training game under his belt before naming a kid as his starting left fielder?

  • We understand that the firing of Rangers’ head coach Tom Renney is news
    right now, but do we really have to listen to New York sports talk
    radio hosts talk about hockey, especially since they have absolutely no
    clue about the sport?

  • Should we really care how much money Jim Calhoun is making?

  • Is there anything more overrated than the NFL combine?

  • Are we bad people because we base our dislike for Mickey Rourke solely on his silly appearance?

  • When will people start to recognize .OPS as the correct way to assess a batter’s ability (instead of batting average)?

  • Are you as disinterested in the WBC as we are?

Who wore it best?

23 Feb

Today’s news will be smothered with the aftermath of the Academy Awards, where materialistic talking heads like Joan Rivers will adjust her reconstructed robot settings to “Rant” and complain about who wore their dresses and gowns wrong at Sunday’s Oscars.

Um, who cares about that.

What we want to know is much more pressing: Out of a singer, two professional athletes and a washed up has-been, who wore their Yankees hat best?

Here’s the choices:

  • Christina Aguilera, top left
  • King James, top right
  • Kevin Federline, bottom left
  • Tom Brady, bottom right

whoworeitbest1.jpg

Who wore it best?
( surveys)

The Maxs Official Guide to the Oscars

22 Feb

We sincerely hope this post didn’t confuse anyone who may have been thinking it was referring to the award show with the same name.

oscarguide.jpg

Who should get the Oscar?
( polls)

Forgive me father, for I have sinned …

22 Feb

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I willingly chose to sign with the Washington Nationals.” - Cristian Guzman

guzcris.jpg
We’re not really sure who decided it was a good idea to take photos of the Nationals in confessionals. But a hearty “thank you” goes out to that person for the unintentional entertainment.