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Announcement from The Max

2 Feb

Proving The Max is recession proof, TheMax.MLBlogs.com has reached an agreement with big name free agent Zack Zeigler.

Zeigler, who joins the staff as Director of Content Development, is excited about the opportunity. “I’ve been following The Max since its inception; it’s great to be able to contribute to their brand of humor.”

Jack Maxwell, however, is lukewarm about the announcement. “Apparently, the boss at our parent company thinks we can use some help, as he put it, ‘being funny.’ Let’s hope this acquisition accomplishes this so we stop getting those ‘that post wasn’t any good’ emails.”

Jeff Maxwell could not be reached for comment.

More on Zeigler.

Whos your Holmes?

2 Feb

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Santonio Holmes

Who would have thought? You play a huge role in helping the Steelers win a Super Bowl and the next thing you know people forget about the marijuana charges from earlier in the season. (Mike Phelps better take notes, hop back into the pool and win 25 more medals.)
But with a sick catch in the end zone late in the game against the Cardinals, we’d be foolish to say Santonio’s not our Holmes. 
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Sherlock Holmes

I doubt he could do anything like get open in an NFL secondary, or bust out a tight post pattern, but he could deconstruct a defense and probably solve 30 other crimes in the process. 
Despite being incredibly outdated with his goofy pipe and magnifying glass, Sherlock’s still money in a third-rate version of James Bond kind of way. He’s not as tough and not as handsome. But he’s still someone we’d name drop to get free tickets to a game.
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Katie Holmes

The huge strike we have against Kate is that she’s married to a loony. The other big one is that she talks out of the side of her mouth. Ever notice that? 
She looks thin and harmless, but there’s something about her that looks rough. It’s sort of like getting a meal from Chilis — it looks good when it arrives at your table, but you know that niceness will turn ugly about an hour after it gets eaten. 
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Larry Holmes
He’s a former heavyweight champion and if something went down with some roughnecks, we know our boy Larry would toss some haymakers and clear the trouble out for us. That’s big.
However, he’d also be the toughest in the group, so whatever he wants he gets. If we want to watch Lost and he wants to watch the new 90210 remake, we’d be stuck in Beverly Hills for an hour. 

Shoulda took the over

1 Feb

Earlier in the week, we set the over/under of Jennifer Hudson’s National Anthem at 1:54. If you took the over, you win! Congrats. Here is the amazing rendition (unless NBC pulled it already):

What a dope!

1 Feb

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Dude, despite being one of the goofiest guys alive, you still have it all… And despite those dumbo ears, you still manage to hook up with hot girls. So having said all this, why in the world would you almost throw it all away by doing this? Man, we knew we were right when we were questioning your popularity this summer.

Name calling, bickering… all in the Giants huddle

30 Jan

We managed to score this video that was shot from inside the Giants’ huddle during a practice a few days before they lost to the Eagles in the postseason. After watching the players call each other names and bicker while a play is being called, it’s no wonder a Super Bowl repeat wasn’t in the — no pun intended — cards.

Don’t just take our word for it, check out the video — it’s only 30 seconds.

Street Fighter II betrays The Max

30 Jan

Guess who we put our money on?

sumo_012909.jpgThe above photo is why The Max doesn’t bet — we lose. The main reason we took Pee-Wee in this wager wasn’t exactly a good reason, either. We just hated using E. Honda in the old school video game, Street Fighter II.  

Our favorite Street Fighter choices in order: 

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Ken/Ryu — They were the basically the same dude with different clothes on.

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Blanka – Part wolf. Part man. All Brazillian, baby.
Guile – He’s from the U.S. so  we got his back, but he had hair like Kid from House Party.
Chun-Li – She was small — only a few inches on our little TVs, but could pack a punch.
Dhalsim – Yoga master and scrawnier version of Stretch Armstrong.
E. Honda – Just plain stunk, but he was cheap. You picked him if you wanted an easy win.
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Zangief — A muscle-bound Russian wrestler who moved like he was made out of Legos.
*Note: This does not include Super Street Fighter II or any of the main bosses you must fight to win. These are part of the OG roster.
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