Ralph Nader, responding to The Washington Post’s decision that it
wouldn’t cover his presidential campaign because he had no chance of
winning: “Then why are you covering the Nationals?”
Charles Barkley, regarding the steroid allegations haunting Barry Bonds: “You all act like it’s a big deal to gain weight when you get old. I got it down to an exact science.”
Bill Maher of HBO, on Roger Clemens: “You can’t deny you did steroids if your head is wider than it is tall.”
, to a spectator who asked Daly to autograph an empty beer can at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic: “Don’t you have a full one?”
Kobe Bryant, on how his Los Angeles Lakers blew a 20-point, second-half lead and lost to the Boston Celtics 97-91 in Game 4 of the NBA Finals: “We just wet the bed. A nice big one, too. One of the ones you can’t put a towel over.”
, Boston Celtics coach, after being asked how long Kevin Garnett
would be out with a strained abdominal muscle: “You know Doc’s a nickname, correct?“
Coco Crisp, Red Sox outfielder, on the team’s decision to stop fans from spreading cremation ashes at Fenway Park: “It’s kind of freaky knowing you’re diving into somebody’s grandpa.”
Alla Kudryavtseva on what motivated her to beat tennis star Maria Sharapova in Wimbledon’s second round: “It’s very pleasant to beat Maria…Why? Well, I don’t like her outfit.”
— It’s the dead walking among the living? They’re dead but they’re walking around. No, wait a minute, that’s the McCain campaign.
Brooke “The Smartest Woman Alive” Hogan: “You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ’cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?“
“I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don’t go out or anything. I just feel like an old fart.” — Britney Spears on her life as a parent.
Pretty much anything Sarah Palin said ended up on some blooper reel, but this one about her foreign policy qualifications takes the cake, whatever that stupid expression means…
There’s a billion more quotes out there, sure, but we like these. Of course, there’s also the Chad Ocho Cinco, T.O., George W. Bush, Shaq catalogue, but we tend to bust on them enough, and we decided to wait until the new year to launch a full-scale assault on some of our favorite targets.
The Max is proud to announce that we are currently accepting applications from professional athletes looking to become the face of this blog. Just like Nike did for Tiger Woods, The Max will make one lucky athlete synonymous with a worldwide mega-brand (us).
Unfortunately, however, the tumbling economy has prevented us from throwing the big bucks around. That said, we are only prepared to offer upwards of $50 to the athlete we choose as our official celebrity endorser. The low compensation has scared off the likes of LeBron James and Andy Phillips, but there are still some superstars out there excited to apply for the position. The only question we ask on our application is: How much do you like The Max? Below is what we got back.
Which finalist do you think The Max should choose as its celebrity endorser? Leave us a comment below. We promise to take your opinion into consideration when making this difficult decision