The best thing about sports — besides the actual game, scouting cheerleaders, nine innings worth of downing beers and munching on hot dogs — has to be when fans express their irritation when something goes wrong.
Ashley Simpson doesn’t lip sync for once, and she pays for it at the Orange Bowl:
Barry Bonds and his expanding head hears it from the crowd during an at-bat.
WWE fans get a “boring” chant going during yet another lame attempt at something funny from WWE “writers.”
Carl Lewis embarrasses himself in front of Michael Jordan and Chicago.
Sarah “Hockey Mom” Palin has few fans in Philly.
Yankees fans can be tough — they’ll even boo the ones they love.
Nationals fans give Dubya the same reception he’d get from 77% of U.S. citizens.
Ralph Nader, responding to The Washington Post’s decision that it
wouldn’t cover his presidential campaign because he had no chance of
winning: “Then why are you covering the Nationals?”
Charles Barkley, regarding the steroid allegations haunting Barry Bonds: “You all act like it’s a big deal to gain weight when you get old. I got it down to an exact science.”
Bill Maher of HBO, on Roger Clemens: “You can’t deny you did steroids if your head is wider than it is tall.”
, to a spectator who asked Daly to autograph an empty beer can at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic: “Don’t you have a full one?”
Kobe Bryant, on how his Los Angeles Lakers blew a 20-point, second-half lead and lost to the Boston Celtics 97-91 in Game 4 of the NBA Finals: “We just wet the bed. A nice big one, too. One of the ones you can’t put a towel over.”
, Boston Celtics coach, after being asked how long Kevin Garnett
would be out with a strained abdominal muscle: “You know Doc’s a nickname, correct?“
Coco Crisp, Red Sox outfielder, on the team’s decision to stop fans from spreading cremation ashes at Fenway Park: “It’s kind of freaky knowing you’re diving into somebody’s grandpa.”
Alla Kudryavtseva on what motivated her to beat tennis star Maria Sharapova in Wimbledon’s second round: “It’s very pleasant to beat Maria…Why? Well, I don’t like her outfit.”
— It’s the dead walking among the living? They’re dead but they’re walking around. No, wait a minute, that’s the McCain campaign.
Brooke “The Smartest Woman Alive” Hogan: “You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ’cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?“
“I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don’t go out or anything. I just feel like an old fart.” — Britney Spears on her life as a parent.
Pretty much anything Sarah Palin said ended up on some blooper reel, but this one about her foreign policy qualifications takes the cake, whatever that stupid expression means…
There’s a billion more quotes out there, sure, but we like these. Of course, there’s also the Chad Ocho Cinco, T.O., George W. Bush, Shaq catalogue, but we tend to bust on them enough, and we decided to wait until the new year to launch a full-scale assault on some of our favorite targets.
We here at The Max are pretty sure that any site attempting to dabble in humor is contractually obligated to run some sort of “separated at birth” segment. Being the go-getters that we are, we decided to get it out of the way in our first month of existence. Enjoy:
Sarah Palin & Rays manager Joe Maddon
Ok, so they aren’t necessarily the same sex. But that doesn’t mean they can’t look alike. Just look at their affinity for bulky specs. Still not buying it? Try mentally placing a brunette wig on Joe’s skull (it’s a lot prettier than doing it the other way around).
Charles “Haywire” Patoshik & Angels pitcher John Lackey
If you’re not a fan of the Prison Break TV show, then this one might not do it for you. But you can’t deny these two may share the same mother. Poor lady.
“Ravishing” Rick Rude & Giants manager Bruce Bochy
The San Francisco version of Bruce Bochy (sans the mustache) does nothing for us. We prefer the facial hair. Plus, he’s the spitting image of former WWE wrestler Rick Rude. The only thing he’s missing is the airbrushed uniform pants. Now that would make the Giants worth watching.
John Goodman & Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis
We’re willing to bet neither one of these guys want to look like the other. Sorry, fellas. You’re spitting images.
NBA star Robert Horry & Will Smith
This entry isn’t fair, as we don’t really think these two were separated at birth. We actually believe that Will Smith and Robert Horry are the same person. Think about it, have you ever seen them at the same place at the same time? Didn’t think so. The bottom line is Will Smith can do anything he wants, including play in the NBA.
Michael Phelps & Giants quaterback Eli Manning
Remember Michael Phelps? Here’s to hoping we never have to mention him again. This entry is courtesy of Lookliker.com.