Reality TV is about to get really bad

2 Feb

irvin.jpgIf you thought Britney and Kevin’s Chaotic reality show was a good idea, you’re gonna love this: It looks like not only Terrell Owens will be getting his own reality show, but so is the equally-annoying former wide receiver Michael Irvin.

Owens’ show, which will air on VH1, will follow him and his best friends and publicists as they try to re-examine his personal life. Spike TV will produce Irvin’s show, which will follow the Hall of Famer as he looks to find somebody good enough to make the Dallas Cowboys training camp roster. 
If you ask us, they both sound like perfect stinkers! It truly amazes us that people would care to follow these bums as they continue to make fools of themselves. Furthermore, we are even more confused as to why it seems like the wide receiver position is the most annoying position on the football field. Seriously, why does this position produce so many divas? If you know the answer, let us know. In the meantime, check out our list of the biggest wide receiver divas in NFL history (notice how many of them turned out to be nobodies):

10: Jerry Porter
The only guy in NFL history to root against his team. But you gotta love that he parked in Al Davis’ parking spot. Classic.

9: Deion Branch
Just put your uni on and play.

8: Javon Walker
Unfortunately for him, what happens in Vegas doesn’t necessarily stay in Vegas.

7: Chris Henry
We don’t have time to list it all. Just check it out here.

6: Randy Moss
Rumor has it the entire state of Minnesota stays off the streets any time Moss comes to town to play the Vikings. Good idea.

5: Plaxico Burress
Hey, Giants fans. Should we give Plax another shot?

4: Michael Irvin
We’re not sure what’s more prolific – his NFL stats or his rap sheet. This guy’s been arrested more times than Mike Tyson and Charles Barkley combined.

3: Keyshawn Johnson
We actually consider Keyshawn to be the “Godfather” of diva wideouts. In our eyes, it was his book, “Just Give Me the Damn Ball!,” that started this whole phenomenon in motion. So the next time, a Giants wide receiver goes and shoots himself, you’ll have Keyshawn to thank.

2: Chad Johnson
His ridiculous name change, horrible taste in sweaters and poor hair styles are just the tip of the iceberg.

1: Terrell Owens
When was the last time you did situps in your driveway while the media watched?

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Announcement from The Max

2 Feb

Proving The Max is recession proof, TheMax.MLBlogs.com has reached an agreement with big name free agent Zack Zeigler.

Zeigler, who joins the staff as Director of Content Development, is excited about the opportunity. “I’ve been following The Max since its inception; it’s great to be able to contribute to their brand of humor.”

Jack Maxwell, however, is lukewarm about the announcement. “Apparently, the boss at our parent company thinks we can use some help, as he put it, ‘being funny.’ Let’s hope this acquisition accomplishes this so we stop getting those ‘that post wasn’t any good’ emails.”

Jeff Maxwell could not be reached for comment.

More on Zeigler.

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Whos your Holmes?

2 Feb

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Santonio Holmes

Who would have thought? You play a huge role in helping the Steelers win a Super Bowl and the next thing you know people forget about the marijuana charges from earlier in the season. (Mike Phelps better take notes, hop back into the pool and win 25 more medals.)
But with a sick catch in the end zone late in the game against the Cardinals, we’d be foolish to say Santonio’s not our Holmes. 
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Sherlock Holmes

I doubt he could do anything like get open in an NFL secondary, or bust out a tight post pattern, but he could deconstruct a defense and probably solve 30 other crimes in the process. 
Despite being incredibly outdated with his goofy pipe and magnifying glass, Sherlock’s still money in a third-rate version of James Bond kind of way. He’s not as tough and not as handsome. But he’s still someone we’d name drop to get free tickets to a game.
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Katie Holmes

The huge strike we have against Kate is that she’s married to a loony. The other big one is that she talks out of the side of her mouth. Ever notice that? 
She looks thin and harmless, but there’s something about her that looks rough. It’s sort of like getting a meal from Chilis — it looks good when it arrives at your table, but you know that niceness will turn ugly about an hour after it gets eaten. 
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Larry Holmes
He’s a former heavyweight champion and if something went down with some roughnecks, we know our boy Larry would toss some haymakers and clear the trouble out for us. That’s big.
However, he’d also be the toughest in the group, so whatever he wants he gets. If we want to watch Lost and he wants to watch the new 90210 remake, we’d be stuck in Beverly Hills for an hour. 

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Shoulda took the over

1 Feb

Earlier in the week, we set the over/under of Jennifer Hudson’s National Anthem at 1:54. If you took the over, you win! Congrats. Here is the amazing rendition (unless NBC pulled it already):

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What a dope!

1 Feb

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Dude, despite being one of the goofiest guys alive, you still have it all… And despite those dumbo ears, you still manage to hook up with hot girls. So having said all this, why in the world would you almost throw it all away by doing this? Man, we knew we were right when we were questioning your popularity this summer.

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Name calling, bickering… all in the Giants huddle

30 Jan

We managed to score this video that was shot from inside the Giants’ huddle during a practice a few days before they lost to the Eagles in the postseason. After watching the players call each other names and bicker while a play is being called, it’s no wonder a Super Bowl repeat wasn’t in the — no pun intended — cards.

Don’t just take our word for it, check out the video — it’s only 30 seconds.

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