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The Max goes streaking

15 Oct

Madden’s streak stops at 476

madden.jpgAfter an insane run of calling 476 NFL games as a commentator, John Madden will finally take a long-deserved rest this Sunday to spend quality time with his family.

Some of us (me) refuse to play his video game because we think his voice is annoying, but you still gotta tip your fedora to the guy for hanging in there.

So, in honor of Madden’s accomplishments, The Max has dug up some others that aren’t so commendable.

NFL Football: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The 1976 Tampa Bay Bucs were absolutely dreadful. They lost a jaw-dropping 14 games in a row en route to a no-win season. There was but one redeeming quality about going to Bucs games back then: the concessions. No, seriously. You see, in those days corn on the cob was just a buck-an-ear. (Worst. Joke. Ever.)

artest.jpgNBA Basketball: Ron Artest

Congratulations are in order (I guess) to Ron Artest for earning the longest suspension in NBA history! Artest’s penalty included missing 73 games and losing out on a measly $4,995,000 in salary for his role in a brawl that spilled into the crowd at the end of a game between the Pacers and the Pistons in 2004.

Other suspensions stemming from that same incident:

  • Stephen Jackson     30 games
  • Jermaine O’Neal       20 games
  • Ben Wallace              6 games
  • Anthony Johnson       5  games
  • Reggie Miller              1 game
  • Chauncey Billups        1 game
  • Derrick Coleman         1 game
  • Elden Campbell          1 game

NHL Hockey: Chicago Blackhawks

The Stanley Cup belonged to the Blackhawks back in 1961 when they defeated the Detroit Red Wings… and after that there’s really not much else to say about Chicago’s winning ways. The Windy City’s hockey club has yet to reclaim the Cup since, and their drought serves as the league’s longest.

young1.jpgMLB Baseball: Anthony Young

With 27 consecutive losing decisions on your resume it’s tough to find a reference. Mets pitcher Anthony Young found that out during a span of 15 months between May 1993 and July 1993 when the right-hander couldn’t buy a win. It goes without saying, Young’s losing got old really quick.

However, today’s Mets fans might actually appreciate Young’s consistency. With “Noodle Arm” on the hill, it was pretty much a guaranteed loss. Nowadays, Mets fans actually believe in their team… until about September, that is. That’s about the time Young’s losing ways  resurface and lead to yet another Amazin’ collapse.

NBA Basketball: Sacramento Kings

With a chilling 15 consecutive losing seasons (1983-1998), the Kings were more like the jesters of the NBA. Of all people, it was Chris Webber (known as “Mr. Timeout” at his alma mater, the University of Michigan, for his bonehead play during the 1993 NCAA Tourney) that helped turn the California franchise around years later.


It’s a tie! The record for the longest losing streak in the NBA is held by two dismal teams, the 1995-96 Vancouver Grizzlies and the 1997-98 Denver Nuggets, each piling up 23 losses in a row. Not even the lowly Knicks are that bad. However, if we gave Isiah one more season, we’re willing to bet he’d figure out a way to push it to 24 in a row.

bartman.jpgMLB Baseball: Chicago Cubs

Where would any list of losers be without the Cubs? Some say the streak of missing the World Series since 1908 would have ended in 2003 if not for “The Steve Bartman Incident,” which refers to a spectator (Bartman) who attempted to catch a foul ball that would have been the third out in Game 6 of the NLCS between the Cubs and Marlins.

Bartman’s interference gave the Florida new life in the game and afterward Bartman had to be ushered from the ballpark with security protecting him. The Marlins went on to win the World Series that year, leaving the Cubs to search for another route way back to the World Series.


First-person view: Tampa Bay Rays

15 Oct

Using advanced technology only available to The Max, we were able to grab a still from last night’s ALCS depicting what the Tampa Bay Rays saw as they stepped to the plate against Tim Wakefield. The knuckleballer should’ve known something was wrong when there was an ump calling balls and strikes instead of a lawn chair.

wiffle.jpg

Duh moment of the day

15 Oct

 

duh.jpgNobody’s blaming Lenn Robbins for this one. Chances are he isn’t the one writing his own headlines. But somebody over at The Post really needs to be a little more creative next time. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow’s headlines are gonna read. They’ll probably look a little something like this:

  • The Earth Is Round
  • The Sky Is Blue
  • McCain Selects Palin
  • A-Rod Is Rich

By the way, the article isn’t so bad. You can check it out at NYPost.com.

Huge fight scheduled (if you own a DeLorean)

14 Oct

ksrock.jpgAccording to Michael Woods (ESPN.com), Ken and Frank Shamrock have signed to face each other in an MMA showdown:

“There are plenty of particulars to iron out, like the date (probably sometime in April), the venue (none has been chosen) and the promotional and broadcast partners to be involved (Elite XC, CBS, and Showtime, with perhaps some other co-promoters), before what is believed to be the first brother vs. brother faceoff in fight history becomes a 100 percent done deal.”

Well, it looks like the Shamrock family feud is finally going to get ironed out. The only problem is that the fight is coming 10 years after their prime. At this point, unless Kenny can talk Doc Brown into borrowing his DeLorean, there is little reason for any of us to care.

Even worse is the scheduling of this contest. With Kimberly Slice recently getting destroyed by a relatively unknown whose 15 minutes are already up, this fight just reeks of desperation. Furthermore, the brother vs. brother thing looks more like a Vince McMahon creation than an MMA battle. Next thing we know, Ken & Frank are going to mysteriously make amends in order to take on brothers Undertaker & Kane in a steel cage match.

BallHype: hype it up!

Dumb Quotes: Shaquille ONeal

14 Oct
“I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”
— Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

shaq1.jpg

Keep checking The Max for more dumb quotes from your favorite athletes.

Capped for Tuesday, Oct. 14

14 Oct

Every Tuesday is Capped Day here at The Max, where we let you caption pictures selected by our award-winning photo editor. Last week, we asked you to caption the below photo from the ALDS. We’re happy to report that a large number of entries were received. However, not one of them was clean enough to print on this site. Come on, people! We’re a family site.

reach.jpgOK, guys. Here’s this week’s photo. We know you can think of something witty that can actually be printed on this site. Send your captions to MaxwellJack@live.com. And remember, the prize is a prestigious “atta boy” from The Max editorial team. Wow!

capped_1014.jpg 

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