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Nets and Arrested Development please unite

26 Feb

This is a photo of Ron Howard, the Executive Producer of one of the best, yet barely watched, TV shows in history, “Arrested Development.” He also starred in “Happy Days” and another black and white sitcom where the opening tune was a catchy whistle.

ronhowardnetsgame2.jpgThis photo was snapped at the IZOD Center in late December of last year. What The Max humbly asks its readers to do is unite with other Nets fans and politely harass Mr. Howard about the “Arrested Development” movie if he attends a game at the IZOD Center again this season.

Some questions to spark conversation:

“What’s up with the movie, bro? Why is it not confirmed yet? We’ve all been waiting patiently. Is it true you have eight of nine people in the cast signed on to do it and Michael Cera is holding out!? Who does he think he is? Do you want me to talk to Michael Cera and do some persuading? (While saying this please punch your first into your open palm to let him know you mean business.)

Those are just some ideas, but seriously, if anyone gets the forum to ask Mr. Howard what’s shaking with this film, please do and give us a report.

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Have you seen Arrested Development?
( surveys)

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What to do with that Stephon Marbury Fathead wall decal…

25 Feb

stephmarbury022409.jpgSomeone we know bought a Stephon Marbury Fathead wall decal after Starbury got traded to the Knicks. Yep, we’re serious. We’re willing to bet the same dude probably forked over loot for a Snuggie, a Garden City Griller and the OxiClean, too. 

So now that Farcebury is out of New York, our buddy asked us: “What do I do with my Fathead”
Here’s a few  solutions we came up with:
  1. handlebar2.jpgColor over Steph’s face with permanent marker and give him a “petit handlebar” mustache (as seen here)
  2. Use it as a huge dartboard
  3. Burn it in effigy in the driveway and e-mail us a photo
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Your turn. What do you think he should do with his Marbury Fathead?

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Redefining the term Hat Head

25 Feb

We’re excited for baseball to return. What sports fan isn’t? But our excitement doesn’t cut it compared to the guy who shaped his hair into a baseball cap. We know when we’re beat, and we have no problems declaring you the big winner, pal. Congrats. ( Side note: We were wondering if he’s ever tried to flip it around and wear it backwards?)

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Are you there Ashton Kutcher? Its us, The Max.

24 Feb

kidstoyskipit.jpgAnyone ever heard of the toy, Skip It? If not, please refer to the illustration to the left. It’s a fairly simple concept.

Well, Skip It was one of those items that you saw advertised on TV (in 1989) but you never knew someone who wasted their money on one. Sort of like the Pet Rock.

Anyway, we think someone (namely Ashton Kutcher from Punk’d) should buy a whole bunch of them, hire an actor to play a strength coach and then use them at a station during drills at Spring Training. According to the new coach, here’s how the Skip It will help each player: “It muscles your speed. It strengthens your agility. And it agilitizes your endurance!”

With decent acting and no breaks in character from assistant coaches, you think anyone would bite and start skipping to agilitize their endurance? We think the most players on the Nationals would heavily consider it. Science tells us desperation tends to lower inhibitions.

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Analogy: Kwame Brown: Franchise Player:: ?

23 Feb

Here’s what we came up with. How about you?

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Braves getting physical at Spring Training

23 Feb

Nobody at The Max claims to be PinstripedBible.com’s Steven Goldman. We’re not that baseball-smart. In fact, nobody hear here at The Max claims to be smart at all. Doesn’t matter, though, because we don’t have to be a crew of Alfred Einstein’s to know that if teams like the Braves plan to win in ’09 they’ll going to need to ditch the Olivia Newton-John routine and start tossing the pill around and taking cuts with the lumber.

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