What a guy that Jake Delhomme is! It was his birthday, yet Delhomme gave Arizona six incredible gifts — including five interceptions — and basically ushered the Cards into the NFC Championship game.
Mets, Panthers headline 2009 Losers Conference
11 JanThe New York Mets, synonymous with the term choke artists, finally have company to share their tear rags with — the Carolina Pathers. Following a six-turnover performance in Carolina’s 33-13 loss to the Cards, Jake Delhomme and the rest of the losers will join the Amazin’s at this year’s 2009 Loser’s Conference, where a bunch of failures congregate to cry about their latest letdowns.
National Anthem mayhem
9 JanIt’s a song performers usually know all the lyrics to, but when the words get botched to our nation’s National Anthem, save video No. 2 featuring Lt. Frank Drebin from “The Naked Gun”, the outcome ain’t pretty.
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Giambi not a girl
8 Jan
Former Yankees first baseman Jason Giambi was introduced as the newest member of the Oakland Athletics Wednesday. During the press conference, The Big G finally dispelled any rumors of his gender. The bold portions of the below quote were picked up by The Max microphones only. Yeah, we’re sly like that:
“I’m back here to win,” Giambi said. “I didn’t come here just to
come back and be the prom queen again and ride through the floats. I will, however, continue to wear my thong like a queen and put my head on men’s shoulders like I have a crush on them.“
This comes just days after The Max broke the shocking news on Carl Pavano, proving that Gary Gnu has nothing on this site.
In all seriousness, though, The Max wishes Giambi the best in Oakland. He’s one of baseball’s good guys.
Its true: Wii Sports has killed Mario Bros.
7 Jan
It’s not a joke — for the first time in the history of The Max, we’re reporting hard news: Mario and Luigi, of Super Mario Bros. fame, are dead. Well, not really dead, but kind of dead.
The phenomenon of Wii Sports has officially dethroned Brooklyn’s own heroic duo as the best-selling video game of all time — and it only took a little more than two years.
The first installment of Mario Bros. was released in 1983 with about a billion sequels thereafter. Wii Sports was introduced to North America in November 2006. That should demonstrate the power of the Wii, folks.
Is this important news? Not really, but we felt our readers should know. We grew up playing Mario Bros., so this figurative death hits home with us at The Max. It’d be like someone saying that “The O.C.” or “Gossip Girl” has officially taken over “Saved by the Bell” or “Beverly Hills, 90210” (the original one with Brandon, Brenda, Kelly and Dylan) as the best teen dramas ever. Rest in peace, Mario Bros. You will be remembered fondly.
Breaking news: Pavano injured … again!
7 Jan
Just moments after signing with the Cleveland Indians, Carl Pavano has sustained yet another season-ending injury. According to reports, the righty became the victim of a nasty paper cut while handing the contract over to his agent after signing it. The cut, which is on his glove hand, won’t require surgery (or a Band-Aid), but will keep him off the mound in 2009.
After being treated at a local medical facility, Pavano told reporters that he has no plans on refunding the $1.5 million he will get from the Indians this year. “Why should I give it back? I took much more than that from the Yankees, and I only gave them nine wins over four years.”
The Max 