Getting free promotion is simple when you come to The Max. You just gotta play an easy word association game with us. If yours are clever enough to make the varsity team, we’ll give you, your company or your website a shout-out just for playing. Be creative. Be funny. Be PG.
- Your name
- Your occupation, blog or website
- Two PG-rated photos
- A few word associations
Need a better idea of what we’re looking for? Lucky for you, one of The Max’s head button pushers, Zack Zeigler, was kind enough to play the first round as an example.
The below questions have been bouncing around our noggin for the past few hours/days. We’re willing to bet you’ve been thinking about them too. If so, let us know what you think.
- Does Bud Selig realize he shamed MLB with his ignorance more than Alex Rodriguez ever could have? What a hypocrite!
- Isn’t it kinda weird that Shaq was named co-MVP of the All-Star Game, especially since it’s been three years since he’s put up numbers worthy of being an all-star?
- Isn’t it lame that the Daytona 500, which is supposedly the Super Bowl of driving around in circles, could be cut short due to rain? Imagine the NFL stopping a game after two-and-a-half quarters.
- After last night’s No Way Out, should we ever pay $39.99 to watch another WWE pay-per-view? We’re guessing no.
- Are you as tired as we are of hearing about Brett Favre? (Not that that’s going to stop us from continuing to post Favre entries.)
- We know the United States is all about second chances, but do we really need to see Michael Vick in an NFL uniform again?
- If everybody on MLBlogs bought a pair of skates, do you think we can beat the New York Rangers? We do.
Since Brett Favre bothered everyone with another retirement announcement, you can do one of two things: camp outside his enormous crib like one of our writers, Jack Maxwell, has decided to do, or you can pitch some ideas to The Max and hope they somehow make it to Brett’s ear. Here’s some options we came up with for him:
Stay on Broadway
Favre is perfect for the lead in a one-act play that we’ve tentatively titled “The Lost Season of the Fallen Man.” Hopefully you’ll know what we based the plot on.
Like SNL’s Matt Foley before him, Brett Favre has credit to his name and could get a gig talking to people about the proper way to ruin a legacy, and also why attempting to stretch a career out beyond its lifespan is an awful, terrible, no good idea. To add star power, we’ve heard that Michael Jordan will be an occasional guest speaker.
Seek solace as a caveman
Nothing personal, Brett, but having read something about you and the Jets’ downfall for the second half of the football season until the day you decided to retire (again), we kind of just want you to GO AWAY. Again, nothing personal, but please get lost and stay out of the media. (Nice Photoshop work, we know.)
Now that the Brett Favre experiment is finally over in New York (result: failure), The Max takes a look back at some other notable bad decisions by your favorite athletes. Who do you think look most weird in their new uniform?
The Max has never prided itself on being a breaking-news service. But in this instance, we have sent Jack Maxwell to the Favre compound in Mississippi to be the first on the scene when Brett Favre announces his unretirement. So, if you actually care to be the first to know when Brett comes back to the NFL, keep it here. The Max will be the first to report the news (take that, Yahoo! Sports). And yes, that’s Jack at the bottom left.
Most celebrities usually covet their privacy. But not these superstars. Check out the vanity plates of the below athletes. They clearly have a lot on their minds (in most cases) and want you to know about it.
Have you spotted any athletes’ vanity plates? If so, tell us what they say below.
With President Bush’s tenure in the White House winding down to double digits, about 72 percent of Americans believe W has outstayed his welcome, according to pollingreport.com. To put it lightly, that’s not so good. However, the Prez isn’t the only one who has apparently stuck around in one spot too long…
Stephon Marbury: New York Knicks
Marbury’s been collecting portions of his $21.9 million salary from the Knicks without even suiting up this season. Not bad for Steph, but pretty terrible for fans that actually want to see the Knicks improve. Marbury might be on his way out, but it’s clear that Steph has outstayed his welcome in the Big Apple.
Brett Favre: Green Bay Packers and New York Jets
After Brett Favre packed his stuff from Green Bay — including a Super Bowl ring and a slew of NFL records — and moved to NY to play for the Jets, he was panned by critics for his choice. But then, when Gang Green was doing well, he was praised. Then came the Mets-like collapse that saw the Jets miss the playoffs. Resume the panning. The latest was from running back, Thomas Jones, who verbally lambasted Favre and stated his poor play warranted benching. Ouch. Rumor has it that Favre is leaning towards retirement, but we’re a little skeptical since his retirements tend to last as long as the next guy in line:
Michael Jordan: Washington Wizards
After a one-and-a-half year stint as the Wizards’ President of Basketball Operations (Would that be the PBO of the company?), and even opting to return to the court as a 38-year old member of the active roster, MJ was informed in a postseason meeting that his services would no longer be required on and off the court in Washington. And this was after Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf basically gave Jordan the boot by refusing to resign Phil Jackson after the Bulls won their third consecutive championship in the late ’90s.
Steven Segal: On Deadly Ground, Under Seige 2: Dark Territory, The Glimmer Man, Exit Wounds, numerous awful action movies
The list of awful Seagal movies would read as long as Maurice Clarette’s rap sheet. We wish he’d quit making films, god how we wish he’d quit — so he did, briefly. Seagal joined a band and tried to peddle his music to make up for the income that was nonexistent due to his imaginary acting career. That band didn’t work out, either. So he went back to films, and they’re still coming out. Keep your eyes on the Waste of Time rack at your local Blockbuster when “The Keeper,” “Ruslan,” and “Against the Dark” come out.
Dennis Rodman: L.A. Lakers and Dallas Mavericks
Dennis Rodman was always hailed as a trouble maker — he’s the guy who would head butt referees, kick photogs in the groin and dress like RuPaul when he had an extra six hours to get into costume.
But while playing with the Bulls, Phil Jackson, MJ, Scottie Pippen all seemed to tolerate Rodman’s antics due to his tenacity on the defensive end of the court. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the same fate in L.A. or in Dallas. First, the Lakers signed Rodman on 2/23/99, only to waive him a few months later on 4/15/99. Then Dallas, thinking their fortunes would be different, picked up Rodman as a free agent on 2/3/00 then tossed him on 3/8/00.
Lucky for Rodman, he picked up another career in sports-entertainment. He recently won Hulk Hogan’s reality show, Celebrity Championship Wrestling, and proved he can throw phony punches with the best of ’em.
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Dustin Diamond (aka Screech Powers)
Kevin “K-Fed” Federl
Reality TV “Stars” — any and all of ’em