Tag Archives: football

Look out Ocho Cinco, here comes Stylez

17 Dec

stiles_121708.jpgTurns out the man formerly known as Chad Johnson (who now gets mail as Chad Ocho Cinco) isn’t the only NFLer who felt the need to switch up his birth name.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Greg White will from now on show up on his opponent’s scouting reports as Stylez G. White. The inspiration for “Stylez” came from a character in the 1985 flick “Teen Wolf,” where actor Jerry Levin played Rupert “Stiles” Stilinski.

The switch in spelling from “Stiles” to “Stylez” was a decision White made to “fit his personality.”

The Max applauds White’s decision, but we feel that people should know the other two names that Stylez was torn between:

First runner-up: Spicoli G. White
Jeff Spicoli appeared in the 1982 classic “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” Although the film was filled with memorable characters (Who could forget Mr. Hand, Mark Ratner or Mike Damone?), Spicoli and his friends somehow always stuck out to diehard fans. Who knows, maybe the man who used to go by Greg thought Spicoli was “totally awesome!”


spicolli_121708.jpgSecond runner-up: Doc. Brown G. White

Great Scott! “Doc” Brown invented the flux capicator that appeared in the “Back to the Future” movies. For those who don’t know, the fulx capicator is what makes time travel possible. Sure, Doc is absent-minded sometimes, but it’s been rumored that Stylez sometimes forgets plays at D-end, so it would have been a perfect fit.
 
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What other characters do you think were on White’s radar?

President Bushs pep talk baffles Navy players

7 Dec

Check out the dude on the left side of the photo wearing No. 2. He can barely keep a straight face while President Bush delivers a speech prior to Navy’s football game against Army.

We’d like to note that we feel kind of bad for the poor guy wearing the coat on the right that’s getting smothered by W’s talk bubble.

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Cheney unveils new theory in Burress case

30 Nov

Dick Cheney can relate to Plaxico Burress’ recent gun troubles. In Feb. 2006, the U.S. Vice President accidentally mistook his hunting partner for a pheasant. Which means, apparently, the Veep’s hunting partner stood a few inches tall, had feathers, a tail and a multicolored face. Because that’s the only way that could actually happen, right? 

Citing the media was making the “same mistake twice” by releasing statements “without all the facts being sourced and checked,” Cheney put forth a bold theory as to what really happened at the Latin Quarter nightclub in Manhattan early last Saturday morning between Plaxico Burress, his right thigh and a loaded weapon:
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Cheney also recommended charging the gun for disobedience, the bullet for firing and circumstance for allowing such an event to take place.

The Lions are actually, seriously, no kidding — No. 1

25 Nov

Even with a disturbing 0-11 record, the Detroit Lions are still the No. 1…

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  • santa.jpgTeam that Santa will skip when cruising around distributing presents. The Clauses are big-time bettors, and the Lions have cost them dearly this year. Get ready for a big fat chunk of coal on Dec. 25, Detroit.
  • Biggest waste of Thanksgiving TV time in the history of pigskin.
  • Team where most players lie about their job. It’s widely known that around the Motor City the guys on the squad say they are lion tamers, not Lions players.
  • Owners of the dirtiest uniforms in the game. (Think about it — 11 sets of cleat marks have trampled their jerseys. That’s a lot of Shout.)
  • Reason the XFL is pushing for a comeback. “They’re just as lousy as we ever was,” cited former XFL star Otis “Hit Squad” Floyd.

What else are the Lions No. 1 at? Leave a comment or Email us: themax_blog@ymail.com

How much do you like The Max?

25 Nov

The Max is proud to announce that we are currently accepting applications from professional athletes looking to become the face of this blog. Just like Nike did for Tiger Woods, The Max will make one lucky athlete synonymous with a worldwide mega-brand (us).

Unfortunately, however, the tumbling economy has prevented us from throwing the big bucks around. That said, we are only prepared to offer upwards of $50 to the athlete we choose as our official celebrity endorser. The low compensation has scared off the likes of LeBron James and Andy Phillips, but there are still some superstars out there excited to apply for the position. The only question we ask on our application is: How much do you like The Max? Below is what we got back.

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max_mcnabb.jpgWhich finalist do you think The Max should choose as its celebrity endorser? Leave us a comment below. We promise to take your opinion into consideration when making this difficult decision

Notre Dame mocked by their own cheerleaders

23 Nov

Following a disgusting loss to the lowly Syracuse Oranges, Notre Dame’s “football team” became the target of abuse from their own cheerleading squad.

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Realizing her team won’t be needing the endzone for anything useful, this cheerleader uses the untouched landscape to practice… just in case.

 

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Using the traditional report-card grading system, the above cheerleader and her manly partner give the Notre Dame football a team a “D”, which is one grade better than what we give them. Ironically, we also screamed that letter on several occasions while watching the game this past weekend.

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The sign this cheerleader is holding pretty much speaks for itself… ok, we doctored the photo a little. But you know that’s what she’s thinking.

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So the above cheerleaders don’t seem to be making fun of their football team. But it’s a damn nice photo to look at. You’re welcome.