Archive | December, 2008

Want to see how badly The Maxs Rob Parker interview could have gone?

23 Dec
By calling The Max, Rob Parker did more than highlight some of our shortcomings (insert an inappropriate joke here), he had us ponder just how badly that interview could have spun out of control had he held a different temperament, like, say, that of a professional athlete. 
There have been some bad interviews conducted in the past, and here at The Max we usually like to refer to those as our job interviews. But for the poor sports interviews, there’s YouTube, which provides hours of enjoyment by catching lots and lots of screwed up interviews on video for everyone’s viewing pleasure.
Editor’s Note: If you watch one video, please let it be the second or third video down. If you watch two, why don’t you just watch all four?
Here is a 3 minute rundown of bad interview endings. The video is good, trust us.



This is an 11-second interview with a Halloween joke that goes terribly wrong…
http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=-4806937880659756938&hl=en&fs=true



Um…what’d he say? Seriously, can anyone translate this 13-second interview:


Here is former WWE Superstar (or ‘rassler) Lex Lugar botching a promo for some no-name wrestling organization. (Runtime: 1:12)

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Rob Parker continues insulting spree

22 Dec

robparker.jpgLess than 24 hours after insulting Detroit Lions head coach Rod Marinelli by asking if he wished his daughter had married “a better defensive coordinator,” Detroit News’ Rob Parker continued his spree of insulting remarks when he called The Max’s world headquarters in Dix Hills, New York.

After getting me (Jeff Maxwell) on the phone, Parker was so bold as to ask if I wished my mother gave birth to a better sports blogger, referring to my brother Jack’s lousy posts of late. Much to Parker’s surprise, though, I answered “yes.” I mean come on, Jack’s posts are totally holding The Max back. Just check out some of his not-so-greatest hits:

  • Post: The Yanks are tightening their wallet. Comment: So just because CC is wearing a construction helmet, it means he is building the stadium? I guess the joke was the part about the fryer. Not so good, bro. You’re better than that.
  • Post: Royals sign young righty. Comment: Hey, Jack. Every single web site in the world made that joke. The only difference is that yours was made about 24 hours after theirs. This isn’t a newspaper; you gotta post those things faster.
  • Post: Fake athlete names. Comment: Who does a Top 8 list? Don’t people either do Top 10 or Top 5… you know, a nice round number?
  • Post: Notre Dame cheerleaders. Comment: I see where he was going here… He just wanted to show the pretty girls. Too bad Notre Dame doesn’t have any, though. Ouch!
  • Post: Baseball awards. Comment: The CTRL + Z Award? Really? I’d like to hit CTRL + Z on asking him to be a part of this blog.
  • Post: Dumbest sports team names. Comment: At least this time he rounded it out to 10 items. Way to spend the extra two minutes to make the post worth reading.

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Blagojevich sought legislation to change Bears helmets

22 Dec

Disgraced Chicago Governor Rod Blagojevich wasn’t just attempting to toss his weight around when it came to President-elect Barack Obama’s vacant Illinois Senate seat, The Max sources have found.

Aside from facing Federal Corruption charges for attempting to bully people into giving his wife a high-profile gig and forcing donors to fork over cash to his campaign, Mr. Blagojevich (pronounced Blag-oye-a-vich) also attempted to change the Bears’ appearance to look more like his own by adding a thick coat of hair onto the the Bears’ helmets. (It’s true. We swear.)

We have no excuse for the governor, except, perhaps, that the guy actually believed if the Bears wore a floppy rat’s nest on top of their helmets it’d be something fashionable. We’re not quite sure. 
What we do know, however, is that one of our reporters obtained a sketch (see below image) that confirms just how much Blag-o allowed power to go to his head. Although we must admit that we’re not quite sure how power or anything else got through his massive hair helmet to get to his head.
 

bearshelmetfinal.jpg

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themax_blog@ymail.com

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Surfing the web

19 Dec

We’ve somehow made it to another Friday, which means The Max is here to help you be as unproductive at work as possible. Here are some great links that will help you waste away your work day:

Did you know the New York Mets were almost called the New York Bees? It’s true. Check out Mental Floss for a full list of team names that almost were.

The Sports Hernia takes a look at athletic brothers and their notable accomplishments. We’re not sure if it was intentional (it so was), but our favorite part was when they referred to Venus and Serena Williams as brothers. The Sports Hernia…

Buffalo Bills QB J.P. Losman caught on camera getting cozy with a young lady. Sports Crunch…

Peter Abraham does a great job breaking down how the CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett signings came to be. Check it out at LoHud.

Did David Wright and Erin Andrews cuddle up for the cameras? Deadspin…

Julia (of Julia’s Rants fame) is certainly looking at the no Tex in Boston situation with great optimism. Julia…

YouTube Video of Week
Zack Morris practically lived at The Max. But you never really saw Mr. Belding there, until now. Here he is singing karaoke with Brooke Hogan of all people.

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Tirico Suave: Eddy Curry is not thin

18 Dec

TiricoSuave.com posted this a while ago. But seeing as Eddy “Kamala” Curry is not getting any thinner, coupled with the success of our Mike Tyson post and the fact that we laughed out loud when we saw this photo, we decided to share it with you. Check out TiricoSuave.com’s other amusing photos here.

kamalacurry.jpg

Here are some more porkers. It wasn’t until just now that we realized our obsession with fat athletes.

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Haters take note: The Yankees are, in fact, tightening their wallets

18 Dec

We’ve had enough! Every time we turn around, there’s somebody bashing the Yankees for spending money like it’s growing on trees. Sure these people have every right to voice their opinions, but the truth is they are dead wrong. In fact, the Yankees appear to be more worried about the bottom line than any other team in baseball, including the Twins, Padres and Royals.

You need proof? The Max has learned that CC’s gigantic contract is not just for toeing the rubber every five days. In fact, it’s written into the agreement that the big man must also help in the building of the new Yankee Stadium:

cchat.jpg

Here’s a photo of the new Yankees ace as he prepares to put the bench in place in the new dugout. After that, he went on to finalize the electrical work for the new scoreboard and install the fryers in the left field food court.

So there you have it, Yankees haters. Turns out the Bombers are more fiscally responsible than you thought.

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