The Max

Now that the election is over and the country has chosen Obama to move into the White House, it’s time to play some Monday Morning Quarterback with the 2008 election. In looking at the Xs and Os of the republican campaign, some say that selecting Sarah Palin may have been John McCain’s biggest flaw.

With that, The Max looks at some personalities from the athletic world that McCain may have been better off choosing:

JOE PATERNO
At 97 years old (or something like that), selecting Penn State football coach Joe Paterno certainly doesn’t seem like the logical choice. But if you prop him up next to the presidential hopeful, he would definitely help make Old Man McCain look like a kid again. Let’s face it, McCain’s no spring chicken. But next to Joe Pa, even Moses would look young. Plus, we would be very interested in hearing Paterno’s stance on social security reform, seeing as he has been collecting since Herbert Hoover was in office.

CHYNA
Clearly, McCain thought he could gain all the Hillary Clinton supporters by naming Sarah Palin as his running mate. But he failed to recognize that she was more like somebody America wanted to hook up with, not vote for. Plus, she didn’t really possess much toughness, despite all of her efforts to prove people otherwise.

With Chyna, though, McCain would’ve gotten the female vote, while never having had to worry about people wanting to hook up with her (we’re getting sick just thinking about it). And he’d have a lady in his corner that could kick some butt, if needed. McCain’s only concern might be seeing the self-proclaimed Ninth Wonder of the World leave the White House to go star in some ridiculously-bad VH1 reality show with Vanilla Ice and Danny Bonaduce.

CHARLIE MANUEL
In all honesty (not really), we found this sign while rummaging through the garbage outside McCain’s Arizona mansion. We’re not 100 percent sure, but we can only assume it means that somebody named Manuel was in the running to be McCain’s partner in crime. We’re guessing it was Charlie Manuel. For the record, The Max would’ve fully endorsed this pick (anything to get Manuel out of a baseball uniform and into a suit works for us. Does he get poured into that thing before games?).

Come to think of it, the Manuel name could have also referred to Jerry Manuel. That would’ve been “gangsta,” as the Mets manager likes to say.

JOSE CANSECO
On the surface, Jose Canseco doesn’t sound like an ideal running mate. But just because he’s a complete whacko doesn’t mean he’s not capable of making a few good decisions. Just think about how tough he would be in the war on drugs.

Actually, scratch that. We want no part of the tell-all book he would pen about American politics after he left office. Hey, Jose. We know that there are some shady things going on in Washington. But that doesn’t mean we want to hear about them. Ignorance is bliss.

STEPHON MARBURY
Hey, he’s not doing anything else.

Tags: 2008 election, Charlie Manuel, Chyna, Jerry Manuel, Joe Paterno, John McCain, Jose Canseco, Penn State, politics, Stephon Marbury, WWE