The Max

Admittedly, the Stephon Marbury head tattoo story broke a few months ago. But we didn’t see such a rush to jump on it. What’s the hurry anyway? Tattoos are forever. It’s not like the darn thing is gonna get up and walk away. Anyway, the stories we saw about the ink largely revolved around what a great marketing idea it was. We see it a little differently. In a word, the tattoo is: Dumb! Here’s a look at some other athletic ink that makes us scratch our collective head.

Greg Ostertag
At a towering 7-foot-2, the former Utah Jazz Center should be as intimidating as they come. Just don’t look at his right leg. Ohhh, you looked!?! Yeah, that’s a cartoon character. Even worse, it’s Fred Flintsone (he may have gotten away with it if it was The Incredible Hulk or something like that).

Anyway, what the heck is Freddy doing with a basketball? Shouldn’t he be playing less hoops and concentrating more on inventing brakes for his car. His heels must be killing him by now.

 Yabba Dabba Dumb!

Andre Brown
We’re not quite sure what it says, but we’re tempted to do a book report on it once we find the time to read it. Nobody has been able to tell us the motivation behind this “artwork,” however, we’re guessing Andre went to the head one too many times without a newspaper. With his new tattoo, he won’t ever have to worry about having nothing to read again.

Redskins fan
This unknown (probably for the best) Redskins fan has every Hall of Fame member of his favorite NFL team permanently inked to his back. Umm, who’s gonna tell him he looks dumb?

Furthermore, what if somebody from the current roster gets inducted? Or even worse, what if several more get inducted? Where do they go? On his butt? Do you really want a guy’s name tattooed on your rear end? Way to go, guy. Next time, call us. We’ll talk you through it.

Brad Miller
Man, we thought Ostertag’s tat was bad. But this one is plain childish. By the looks of this photo, though, it looks like kids might be his key demographic. Isn’t it great how the young girl already has the “I’m annoyed with you” look down? She’ll make a great wife one day.

Lita
Question: How do you ugly up a pretty girl?

Answer: You put a huge, demonic tattoo on her shoulder.

It’s truly unfortunate. This former WWE diva had an amazing build and great smile. We just can’t get past the tattoo. Rumor has it she added on a few more since her WWE days. We didn’t feel compelled to find photos, though. We prefer to remember her as only slightly tainted.

Anastasia Davydova
Russian synchronized swimmer Anastasia Davydova really loves butterflies… oh forget it. We don’t have anything witty to say. We just wanted to post this photo (for obvious reasons).

Denny Neagle
We don’t know what’s funnier – Denny Neagle’s tough-guy, shirtless look? Or his tattoo? If we were forced to answer, we would say the tattoo. Mainly because we have no idea what it is. Our best guess is that the big ball is probably where he wanted his pitches to go. The smaller balls are where they actually went. There has to be some reason for his 5.81 ERA in the Bronx.

Deron Williams
The basketball tattoo – one of our all-time favorites. Experts (us) say there are more NBA players with a ball inked to their body than not. We just chose to pick on Williams in this case (because he was the first one we saw).

So why do you think these guys feel compelled to get this tattoo? Is it because they are proud to be playing basketball for a living? Well, I always wanted to write a blog for a living. You don’t see a keyboard permanently inked on my arm. My uncle was a mailman. He never had a stamp tattooed to his shoulder.

Adam Duvendeck
Who? Yeah, exactly. Adam Duvendeck is an American cyclist who has already been forgotten by the few people that knew who he was. At least he has this cool tattoo to remind him that he was once mildly recognizable. It’s just too bad he can’t see it (and we can).

Kobe Bryant
We actually don’t think tattooing his wife’s name on his arm is such a bad idea. Apparently, he needs constant reminders that he is, in fact, in a monogamous relationship.

Mike Tyson
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Tags: Adam Duvendeck, Anastasia Davydova, Andre Brown, Brad Miller, Denny Neagle, Deron Williams, Fred Flintstone, Greg Ostertag, Kobe Bryant, Lita, Mike Tyson, Redskins, Stephon Marbury, tattoos, WWE