Archive | October, 2008

Problem-prone Plaxico gets movie deal

28 Oct

Movie remakes have been invading theaters at a ferocious pace of late. And with the exception of Jessica Simpson prancing around in a bikini in The Dukes of Hazzard, there’s no real reason to run out and rent them. But that hasn’t stopped decision makers in Tinseltown from investing in remakes. Here’s a few you can look forward to in the near future:

    • Alice in Wonderland
    • Footloose
    • Friday the 13th
    • Nightmare on Elm Street
    • Short Circuit
    • Howard Stern’s Porky’s
    • The Evil Dead
    • Tron

While The Max wasn’t too hyped for any of those listed above, there was one that captured our curiosity starring Plaxico Burress. Look out High School Musical 3, Plax is about to take over the box office:


First Santa, now Mother Nature

28 Oct

mothernature.jpgWe at The Max consider ourselves to be a lot like FOX News. Perhaps no other blog on the Internet employs the catchphrase “we report, you decide” better than The Max (ok, we’re a little biased). In short, we don’t offer you our opinions. We simply give you the information and let you form your own opinions. But after last night’s World Series game, we must speak up:

Philadelphia, you should be embarrassed. First you boo Santa Claus, and now you verbally assault poor Mother Nature just because your World Series celebration will be delayed by rain. How do you sleep at night?

Several members of The Max staff actually once had the opportunity to meet Mother Nature at an airport in Paris. Nice lady. She even offered to autograph the photo used in this blog entry. Unlike most celebrities, she spent an insane amount of time with us talking about the weather (turns out deciding to make it rain or snow is a lot more complicated than we thought). She even offered the wonderful advice of “stay warm,” which she also added on her autograph.

Anyway, we could go on forever about how nice Mother Nature is. But this goes far beyond some poor old lady’s feelings. We are getting reports in our newsroom that after last night’s booing of Mommy N, the Easter Bunny is kicking around the idea of skipping Philly this Spring. Are you happy now? And this comes just hours after learning that the Tooth Fairy is training Hulk Hogan to be her fill-in on house calls in the Philly area.


Fun With Numbers

27 Oct

As we do every Monday, The Max offers an in-depth look at the most important numbers of the past week in sports and entertainment. Check out last week’s edition of Fun With Numbers here.


(Unfortunately) Image is everything for Andre Agassi

26 Oct

Back when the built-in flash was a modern marvel, Canon ran an advertising campaign for their Rebel camera starring hunk-of-the-moment tennis sensation Andre Agassi. The slogan: Image is Everything. Unfortunately for Agassi, that happened to be true. Be warned that the string of images you see in this old commercial can be quite painful to watch.

*Please note: 8 seconds in where Fabio Jr. rips off his shirt and launches it into the canyon below, where we presume lots of Tuskan Raiders from “Star Wars” are waiting to battle over who gets to touch Agassi’s sweat rag.
*Also note: 15 seconds in as Mr. Image is laying poolside, catching some rays, wearing his Terminator sunglasses and fashionable neon pink swimsuit. 

Pro athletes ruined Dancing With the Stars?

25 Oct

Rumor has it that producers for Dancing with the Stars are looking for new, less talented experts to work with the celebs next season. Former NFL greats Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith and this season’s breakout star, Warren Sapp, have Foxtrotted so well that in order to keep the show fresh and the ratings high, producers want to downgrade the talent of the dancing pros to create more competition on the series.

While Dancing with the Stars‘ network, ABC, was hush about the rumor, The Max’s inside source told us they’ve heavily considered extending their first offer to the guy in this video. Take nine seconds out of your day to watch him wow the crowd of mall goers as he shows off his amazing moves playing the video game Dance Dance Revolution (DDR). Of course, if this dude does get the gig, he’ll have to figure out a way to stay on his feet.

The Moose is loose

24 Oct


The Seattle Mariners were dead last in the AL West last season. Their performance got so lousy that during the twilight of the season their mascot, Mariner Moose, opted to flash his newborn’s mug to the hometown crowd instead of routing on his team.
It was fine until Ichiro smacked a foul ball liner and, in a knee-jerk reaction, M. Moose turned quickly and jacked some poor fan in the dome with his kid’s antler. 
The lawsuit is still pending and the Mariners are still terrible.