Tag Archives: NHL

Former NHL Ranger being hunted by Jack Bauer

2 Dec

Former New York Ranger Sean Avery was suspended indefinitely by the NHL for saying naughty things about his former flame, “24” star Elisha Cuthbert, during a morning skate with his new team, the Dallas Stars. 
What was so bad, you ask? We wouldn’t dare utter the phrase, but let’s just say that we wouldn’t be surprised if Jack Bauer is taking time out of his busy schedule to plot some revenge for the slur. 
But we can’t leave you in the dark, so we’ve put something together that should help illustrate what the term was…

averyslur3.jpg

Get the idea now?  If not, refer to that Google thing the kids are talking about. It’s all over that.

Surfing the Web

14 Nov

It’s Friday, and you know what that means – stop being so productive at work and surf the web. Here are some links that might help you get started:

The Hockey Hall of Fame ceremony was held at, none other than, Steve’s place. (The Onion)

Gilbert Arenas believes in change. Don’t believe him? Shake his hand. (Intentional Foul)

The TV Sports Theme Song Quiz will have you scratching your head. (Mental Floss)

The Blazers Dancers have gotten new outfits. Truth is that we really don’t care. But the fact that they are new means that it’s news and gives us the opportunity to link to some beautiful babies, as Vince Vaughn would say in Swingers. (Blaze of Love)

NBA jerseys: There’s been some bad ones over the past 10 years. (Bad Jerseys)

YouTube Video of the Day
Ok, so it’s really from ESPN. But we can’t give up our awesome branding of “YouTube Video of the Day,” especially since its been in existence since, like, October. Thanks to the YES web guy for sending us this link.

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/player.swf?mediaId=3695015

The List: Top 10 dumbest pro sports team names

6 Nov

After watching the Oklahoma City Thunder’s recent home opener, The Max editorial staff began to debate if there was a worse name in the history of pro sports. We were shocked when we came up with a lengthy list of even more embarrassing names. Here’s our Top 10:

No. 10: Houston Texans

texans.jpgTo be honest, we actually don’t mind this name all that much, largely because those rotten residents of The Lone Star State have done such a great job branding themselves as tough guys. Nolan Ryan and Stone Cold Steve Austin immediately come to mind. But naming your team after the state you reside in seems just plain boring. We should probably be glad they don’t hail from Dix Hills, New Jersey. Do you think any NFL team would be afraid to see the Dix Hills New Jerseyans on their schedule? Or how about the Stamford Connecticutians?

No. 9: Washington Wizards
Cut the garbage and go back to the Bullets. Now, there’s a name with some umph! The Wizards? Sounds like their starting five should consist of a bunch of nose-picking Dungeons & Dragons dorks. Watch out, LeBron. Here comes Merlyn the Wizard. He might zap you with his super fake wand on his way to the hoop.

No. 8 (tie): Browns, Blues and Reds

browns.jpgSounds more like fall fashions than sports teams. And yes, we understand that these squads have a great deal of history behind them and that their names were created when such stupidity was actually applauded. But that doesn’t mean they should keep their names now. We also rode around in horse and buggies back then; does that mean we should abandon our cars? Perhaps we should just be happy that there is no Mauves or Aquas out there… yet!

No. 7: Utah Jazz
Ok, we’ve never been to Utah. Nor do we plan on going there any time soon (we have a hard enough time scoring one girl at a time). But we have a funny feeling that there isn’t a ton of jazz music being played in Utah. The name made sense when they called New Orleans home. But they don’t any more, so they should change their names just like the Oklahoma Thun… oh wait, never mind. That name stinks too.

No. 6: Denver Nuggets
We suppose that this is a play off of Denver’s wildly unpopular mining population. Sounds more like something left you know where after an unsuccessful flush.

No. 5: Chicago Cubs
We know, we know. The Cubs are a classic MLB team with a classic name… blah, blah, blah. You’re wrong! The name stinks. Essentially, they are calling themselves babies. Maybe the next expansion team should go by the Puppies or the Kittens.

No. 4: Charlotte Bobcats

bobs.jpgRumor has it that team founder Robert “Bob” Johnson chose the name Bobcats after himself, Bob. Talk about egotistical. Who would ever name anything they do for a living after themselves? By the way, isn’t The Max such a great name for this blog? Signed Jack Maxwell.

No. 3: Anaheim Ducks
What are they gonna do? Quack their opposition into submission? Even worse, they were named after a kids’ movie produced by Disney. Perhaps the Anaheim Cinderellas sounded too tough for them.

No. 2: Oakland Athletics
Athletics? So in translation, they are basically calling themselves the Oakland Sports. Or the Oakland Baseball. The only thing worse would have been naming the team the Oakland Athletes. And don’t even get us started on the A’s. You don’t see the Ducks calling themselves the D’s or the Bobcats going be the B’s or even the Mariners using the M’s… well, don’t compare yourself the Mariners. When was the last time they won a title?

No. 1: San Diego Padres

pads.jpgNothing strikes fear into opposition like a bunch of balding, overweight, elderly monks. A padre is a monk, right? Oh, who cares. This is the same squad looking to rid themselves of Jake Peavy over a divorce in the front office.

 

By now, you’re probably asking yourself why the Washington Mystics of WNBA didn’t make the list. As mentioned at the beginning of this post, we chose to only focus on pro sports. Ouch!

Which team name do you think is the worst?
( surveys)

Fun With Numbers

27 Oct

As we do every Monday, The Max offers an in-depth look at the most important numbers of the past week in sports and entertainment. Check out last week’s edition of Fun With Numbers here.


funnumbers1.jpg

Surfing the web

16 Oct

Well, The Max made it to another Friday. And as is quickly becoming the tradition over here, we like to offer you some witty web findings that should help you get through your day at the office. Like last week, this should eat up a few hours. How you spend the rest of your work day is up to you.

Mental Floss wants you to name all 30 NHL teams in five minutes. It’s harder than it sounds. But we were pretty proud of our 25-out-of-30 attempt, and we don’t even consider hockey a sport (well, a good one, anyway). Continue…

Speaking of Mental Floss, they list their favorite athletes that did not collect $200 when they went directly to jail. Continue…

ESPN traces the phrase “Manny being Manny” all the way back to 1995. Continue…

Deadspin features the world’s dumbest Phillies fan. Continue…

The Big Lead reviews Versus’ new show Sports Soup. The article’s length could be cut in half, but there is an opinion in there somewhere, we swear. We’re only providing you with this link because we know you didn’t see the show. Continue…

YouTube Baseball Video of the Week
Somebody finally told Mr. Met that his team is no longer playing baseball. Poor guy:

The Max goes streaking

15 Oct

Madden’s streak stops at 476

madden.jpgAfter an insane run of calling 476 NFL games as a commentator, John Madden will finally take a long-deserved rest this Sunday to spend quality time with his family.

Some of us (me) refuse to play his video game because we think his voice is annoying, but you still gotta tip your fedora to the guy for hanging in there.

So, in honor of Madden’s accomplishments, The Max has dug up some others that aren’t so commendable.

NFL Football: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The 1976 Tampa Bay Bucs were absolutely dreadful. They lost a jaw-dropping 14 games in a row en route to a no-win season. There was but one redeeming quality about going to Bucs games back then: the concessions. No, seriously. You see, in those days corn on the cob was just a buck-an-ear. (Worst. Joke. Ever.)

artest.jpgNBA Basketball: Ron Artest

Congratulations are in order (I guess) to Ron Artest for earning the longest suspension in NBA history! Artest’s penalty included missing 73 games and losing out on a measly $4,995,000 in salary for his role in a brawl that spilled into the crowd at the end of a game between the Pacers and the Pistons in 2004.

Other suspensions stemming from that same incident:

  • Stephen Jackson     30 games
  • Jermaine O’Neal       20 games
  • Ben Wallace              6 games
  • Anthony Johnson       5  games
  • Reggie Miller              1 game
  • Chauncey Billups        1 game
  • Derrick Coleman         1 game
  • Elden Campbell          1 game

NHL Hockey: Chicago Blackhawks

The Stanley Cup belonged to the Blackhawks back in 1961 when they defeated the Detroit Red Wings… and after that there’s really not much else to say about Chicago’s winning ways. The Windy City’s hockey club has yet to reclaim the Cup since, and their drought serves as the league’s longest.

young1.jpgMLB Baseball: Anthony Young

With 27 consecutive losing decisions on your resume it’s tough to find a reference. Mets pitcher Anthony Young found that out during a span of 15 months between May 1993 and July 1993 when the right-hander couldn’t buy a win. It goes without saying, Young’s losing got old really quick.

However, today’s Mets fans might actually appreciate Young’s consistency. With “Noodle Arm” on the hill, it was pretty much a guaranteed loss. Nowadays, Mets fans actually believe in their team… until about September, that is. That’s about the time Young’s losing ways  resurface and lead to yet another Amazin’ collapse.

NBA Basketball: Sacramento Kings

With a chilling 15 consecutive losing seasons (1983-1998), the Kings were more like the jesters of the NBA. Of all people, it was Chris Webber (known as “Mr. Timeout” at his alma mater, the University of Michigan, for his bonehead play during the 1993 NCAA Tourney) that helped turn the California franchise around years later.


It’s a tie! The record for the longest losing streak in the NBA is held by two dismal teams, the 1995-96 Vancouver Grizzlies and the 1997-98 Denver Nuggets, each piling up 23 losses in a row. Not even the lowly Knicks are that bad. However, if we gave Isiah one more season, we’re willing to bet he’d figure out a way to push it to 24 in a row.

bartman.jpgMLB Baseball: Chicago Cubs

Where would any list of losers be without the Cubs? Some say the streak of missing the World Series since 1908 would have ended in 2003 if not for “The Steve Bartman Incident,” which refers to a spectator (Bartman) who attempted to catch a foul ball that would have been the third out in Game 6 of the NLCS between the Cubs and Marlins.

Bartman’s interference gave the Florida new life in the game and afterward Bartman had to be ushered from the ballpark with security protecting him. The Marlins went on to win the World Series that year, leaving the Cubs to search for another route way back to the World Series.